Zarqawi "Deeply Humbled" By Senate Debate

Point Five ^ | 11/15/05 | a4g

[StoneGiant]

Zarqawi "Deeply Humbled" By Senate Debate


Terrorist leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, head of the terrorist group al Qaeda in Iraq, said through a spokesman Tuesday that an amendment authored by Senator John McCain has left him “deeply humbled” by the US Senate’s willingness to forcefully confront the issue of torture.





Zarqawi, forced against his will to fight by an imperialistic US policy, pauses during his tireless struggle, to reflect on the meaning of good and evil.


Zarqawi, who has been conducting a Iranian- backed resistance against the nascent Iraqi democracy, is believed to have been fundamentally shaken by the prospect of a an official denunciation of torture by his long-time enemy, the United States. He is reportedly holed- up in a safe house in Ramadi contemplating his next move.

“This really has knocked Zarqawi on his heels,” said Peter Welker, a Middle East expert with the Welker Group. “The introduction of this legislation has sent a wave of doubt through the entire insurgency. The United States– the focus of so much of their hate– suddenly seems like a shining example of decency. They’re suddenly stopping in the middle of assembling an IED, or while strapping on a suicide belt, and questioning everything they believe. We expect to see a mass surrender of arms and a huge shift to a more political focus for Zarqawi’s group.”

al Qaeda is a volunteer men’s organization that brings together diverse individuals– including billionaires and paupers; pediatricians, chemists, and other professionals– all devoted to “conservative political and social change.”

Other experts note that a Senate torture declaration could have ramifications beyond just the Iraq conflict, and expect positive effects from the legislation in such far-flung theaters of the Terror War as Indonesia, Somalia, and France.

Some even predict that left- leaning critics of the current Republican majority will be similarly affected. “You’ve got hundreds of well-funded interest groups, dedicated to the idea that the right wing is made up of imperialistic brutes, ravenous for oil, willing to crush any nation that gets in the way of expansion. And then this bill comes along, and just throws cold water on the whole proposition. Within the month, I think we can expect to see most of them fold up and go home.”

Senator John McCain, the legislation’s author, issued a brief statement mid-day: “Never has a battle been more decisively won.”

[JHBowden]

Perhaps he would be deeply humbled by a cruise missile.

[roaddog727]

Throwing in the towel bump........

[nikos1121]

Obvious sarcasm. Waste of print and the time it takes to read this.

[johniegrad]

al Qaeda is a volunteer men’s organization that brings together diverse individuals– including billionaires and paupers; pediatricians, chemists, and other professionals– all devoted to “conservative political and social change.”

[A message]

added satire keyword

[prairiebreeze]

This is garbage and certainly not breaking news. geeze.

[hflynn]

They’re suddenly stopping in the middle of assembling an IED, or while strapping on a suicide belt, and questioning everything they believe. We expect to see a mass surrender of arms and a huge shift to a more political focus for Zarqawi’s group.”

This is the funniest BS I have ever read. ROTFL! We are going to surrender for 3 hots and a cot.

[Publius6961]

Can someone please explain to me again why treason and sedition are no longer answered with a swift trial and execution?

Yes, I am aware that Benedict Arnold was also a war hero...

[standingfirm]

ROFLMAO! This sounds like Scrappleface!

"Al-Qaeda is a volunteer men’s organization that brings together diverse individuals– including billionaires and paupers; pediatricians, chemists, and other professionals– all devoted to “conservative political and social change.”

What's really funny though, is that there are a lot of people of the kook fringe left who agree sincerely with this.

[ExSoldier]

This should have been printed in every news outlet in the nation: McCain a Zarqawi Sympathizer
OR
Zarqawi becomes a McCainiac....vows to support Presidential Aspirations....

[Soul Seeker]

I am so glad to know that the terrorists killing our troops and innocent civilians have bi-partisan representation in the U.S. Senate.

[justshutupandtakeit]

LoL

[the OlLine Rebel]

This is an almost-perfect set-up farce.

[StoneGiant]

This is an almost-perfect set-up farce.



It would appear, however, that some of the early readers either swallowed it hook-line-and-sinker or lacked a sense of humor.

Too bad.

[river rat]

I suspect a LOT of folks -- could EASILY believe this of the Islamist bastards, simply because they WANT to believe in their innate goodness, rather than the evilness they represent..

These are the hopelessly and dangerously stupid.

Semper Fi