Vanilla Ice: "Ice Ice Baby" translated into Latin

Livejournal.com ^ | 01/17/2005 | cataptromancer (Livejournal)

[Constitution Day]

In the noble tradition of De clunibus magnis amandis oratio (Baby Got Back), I bring you:

---

Gelu, O Gelu, Cara
VANILLÆ GELUS

doo doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo
doo doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo...

Etenim, siste, me iuva, auscultaque
(Indeed: Halt, aid me, and take heed)
Gelu redivit cum inventione novissima
(Frost has returned with a very new invention)
Nescioquid me constringit
(Something constrains me)
Fluo ceu hasta baleanarum necandarum noctu et quotidie
(I flow in the manner of a whale-killing spear daily and by night)
Umquam hoc desistetne? Ego dubito.
(Shall this ever cease? I myself doubt it.)
Lucernis restinctis luceam
(When the lamps are extinguished I shall shed light)
Ad ultimum flecto microphonem ut vandal
(I bend the microphone to the furthest point like a Germanic tribesman)
Scenam illumino et ineptum incero etsi candelam faciam
(I brighten the stage and cover an inept man in wax as if I were making a taper)
Salta, rue ad originem sonituum resonantium
(Dance, hasten to the source of resounding noises)
Sic cerebrum tuum laedo quomodo Claudium Imperatorem Agrippina Neroque interfecrunt
(I am wounding your brain in the manner that Agrippina and Nero killed the Emperor Claudius)
Letalis sum, quando cantum validum modulor
(I am fatal when I warble a hearty tune)
Quicquid peius optimo nefas
(Anything worse than the best is blasphemy)
Aut id ama aut discede, gravitatem tuam augere oportet
(Either love it or leave, you ought to increase your weightiness)
Debes tendere sagittam ad volucrem traiecto in fune columbam – infans negat
[You ought to aim for the dove hoisted on the rope* – the child refuses]
Si quaestio exsisteret, solutionem offerem
[If there were a debate I should offer a solution]
Carmen meum probas dum discafer meus revolvit
(Evaluate my refrain while my disk-bearer revolves)

Gelu, O Gelu, Cara
[Frost. O, Frost, Darling!]
*-Virgil, Æneid VI.

[Constitution Day]

All right, stop! Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit the bull's eye, the kid don't play
If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice ice baby

[Constitution Day]

PINGVS MAXIMVS

[cjshapi]

Amazing how I wish for silly stuff and it just appears!

[Constitution Day]

NLC™ ping.

[Fierce Allegiance]

LOL. I have a sister in law that was Sooooooooooo into VI when it was hot, she even went to a concert. She's going to hate me for sending this to her.

BTW, she had tickets to a Milli Vanilli concert right before they went down.

[Constitution Day]

New tagline material here!

[Tijeras_Slim]

Wall of Voodoo (The lost Elmer Fudd Sessions)

i feew a hot wind on my shouwdew and the touch of a wowwd that is owdew i tuwn the switch and check the numbew i weave it on when in bed i swumbew i heaw the whythms of the music i buy the pwoduct and nevew use it i heaw the tawking of the dj can't undewstand, just what does he say?

i'm on a mexican wadio

i diaw it in and tune the station they tawk about the u.s. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! infwation i undewstand just a wittwe no compwende - it's a widdwe i'm on a mexican wadio i wish i was in tiajuana eating bawbeqwed iguana i take weqwests on the tewephone i'm on a wavewengf faw fwom home i feew a hot wind on my shouwdew i diaw it in fwom the souf of the bowdew i heaw the tawking of the dj can't undewstand, just what does he say?

i'm on a mexican wadio

what does he say?

[Constitution Day]

I bet those Milli Vanilli tickets would be a collectors item now.
Did she save the stubs?

[Constitution Day]

ROFL!!!

[wagglebee]

This really needs to be in "Breaking News"

[Tijeras_Slim]

This really needs to be in "Breaking News"

It needs to be in the "More Cowbell Sidebar".

[Fierce Allegiance]

She still has the whole ticket. They cancelled the show. She was pissed off she didn't get to go. Poor kid.

[Fierce Allegiance]

LOL!

[Constitution Day]

Since it's from Livejournal.com, the FR software forced me to post it in the Bloggers forum.

:(

[Constitution Day]

Since you posted on the thread linked below, I thought you'd also like this.

Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" translated into Latin

[Fierce Allegiance]

Tagline update

[sharktrager]

If Latin wasn't a dead language already, I think you just killed it.

Damned If I Know

[Constitution Day]

Fluo ceu hasta baleanarum necandarum noctu et quotidie.

[ravingnutter]

My daughters loved VI too. I was cleaning out the shed about a year ago and came across the VI sweaters I had bought them when they were kids that say Ice Ice Baby on them, LOL!

[Constitution Day]

Pinging other funny folks & friends.