Posted on 08/13/2004 5:33:50 PM PDT by KosmicKitty
It turns out John Kerry is telling the truth about spending Christmas in Cambodia. A British journalist who worked in Cambodia in the Sixties has just come forward with a recording of the following popular Cambodian folk song:
Grandma got run over by a swift boat
Walking home from our hooch Christmas Eve
You may say Cambodia has no swift boats
But me and Aunt Teresa, we believe
[chorus]
She'd been smoking too much Thai stick
And we begged her to keep low
But she felt like skinny dipping
And she staggered down the bank
into the flow
[chorus]
When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
She had Botox in her forehead
And incriminating ketchup
down her back
[chorus]
It's not Christmas without Grandma
The whole Khmer Rouge is dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Is Lieutenant Kerry
coming back?
[chorus]
I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Stay inside, protect your health
They should never give a medal
To a man who flips his lid
and shoots himself
This is classic - enjoy!!
OK, I just sung that out loud to my husband and we are both drinking our margaritas and beer (for him) and ROTFLMAO!!! Great find! Thanks!
-Eric
Anyone who believes this puts Kerry in Cambodia has a very low threshold for proof, but then DemonRats are governed by feelings and not logic.
BwaHAHAHAhaHAHAhahAHAhaaaa!
GET A GRIP! KEEP TELLING SELF... IT IS ONLY A SONG... ONLY A SONG....
Boy, I'll bet DFU is jealous...
Great
If we could get a FReeper with a good voice to sing this song I believe country stations would play it.
One of my favorite Christmas tunes, now made even funnier!
You know of course that Monday Dan Rather will report "Even rightwing websites are claiming Kerry is telling the truth..."
Cool.
Got drinks?
LOL
And one more - not nearly as funny, IMHO, but what the heck :-)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Cambodia
Not a enemy was stirring, not even in Laos
Their weapons were hung on the straw huts with care,
In hopes that delusional St. Kerry soon would be there;
The Cambodians were nestled all snug in their beds,
While John Kerry had visions of an attack seared in his head.
The enemy settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on in the rice field there arose such a clatter;
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen mud
had given sight to smug John Kerry, the crazy thug!
Then, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
A miniature swift boatWith Jolly Ole St. Kerry at the helm, so lively andquick,
They knew in a moment it must be another Kerry trick
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Hey, Ho Chi and Ding Dong, and Chow Ming Young
I'm ready to kill you and rip out your tongue!
To the top of the rice field! To the top of the wall
the Cambodians dashed away! Dashed away all.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the straw huts the coursers they flew,
With the boat full of weapons, Kerry knew what to do!
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of Kerry's big hoof.
As they held up their hands, and turned around,
John Kerry had burned their village down to the ground.
He was dressed in war paint, from his head to his foot.
His clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Kerry rifled through their belongings and grabbed all their loot.
He behaved like a War Criminal stuffing his pack,
for this were the actions of a Cowardly Rat!
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
Alas! this was the real John Kerry.
the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
the Cambodians flesh was burning beneath.
He sprang to his swifty, to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all paddled like the down of a thistle.
Kerry stopped the swifty, he wanted to pause as
"Visions of Presidency" danced in his head,
He'll campaign as a War Hero, the Cambodians are dead!
If the other Vets dispute me, I'll smear them with shame
I'll call them liars and frauds, after all, that's the name of the game.
I'll speak with great oratory the voice of command;
the voters won't realize its just another Kerry scam!
That gal behind Edwards at the Wendy's burger-joint looks like Kirsty Ally...and she's checkin him out!!
Too skinny to be Krusty
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