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LOL !!

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one problem with what I have seen in America."

President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."

The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."

President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back, "It's because it takes place in the future....

Hi Joe. Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday.

How about a nice irish coffee to start the day. It will go nicely with my pipe.

Here are a couple of jokes for all.

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Inspired by SheLion (Post No. 19)

The sweet young thing awakens in the morning after spending the night with a gorgeous hunk.

She says, "My mother always told me to be a good girl."

Pause.

"Was I?"

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The old man

An old man lived alone in Minnesota.

He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.

So the old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Very shortly, the old man received a note from his son admonishing, "Don't dig up that garden... that's where I buried the GUNS AND MONEY!"

At 4am the next morning, a dozen police showed up at the old man's place and dug up the entire garden... without finding any guns or money. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what had happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your damn potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do at this time."

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The man in a lousy mood.

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset. "What's the matter, buddy?" asks the bartender.

"It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and were just about to make love when her goddamned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the edge by my fingernails without any clothes on!"

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated. When her husband came into the room, he wanted to have sex with her-but he had to piss first. And the lazy son of a bitch pissed out the window right onto my head!"

"Yeech! No wonder you're in a lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really really made me mad. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished the husband tossed his condom out the window. And where does it land? On my goddamned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!"

"Oh, I'm not finished! See, what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. Turns out that their toilet was broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!"

"That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but do you know what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!"

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And, in the interests of a complete education, here is an URL that may answer the question:

Would you survive a nuclear blast?

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/bomb/sfeature/mapablast.html

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P.S. And how come there are no comments regarding the pancake and syrup recipies I gave last week?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/758539/posts?q=1&&page=101 at Post 119

Have a nice weekend. I plan to see the Blue Angels tomorrow!

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up to him. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and as she lowers it,he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

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