8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found On The Far Side Of The Moon

The Bee ^ | Apr 7, 2026 | The Bee

[dayglored]

The dark side of the moon has long been the subject of myth and speculation. What mysteries lie beyond the known lunar surface in that dark realm beyond our telescopes?

Now, The Babylon Bee can reveal what the crew of the Artemis II mission discovered on the other side of the moon:

1. Rocks: Lots and lots of rocks.

2. A Starbucks: Man, they really are everywhere.

3. 1,000,000,000 Mylar birthday balloons: So that's where they all end up.

4. A Somali daycare: The owner says it has a huge client base and is totally legit.

5. A Shohei Ohtani home run ball: Not even Earth's atmosphere can contain his power.

6. Several boxes labeled "Epstein Files": Someone must have been trying really hard to keep these from being found.

7. Amelia Earhart: Always the last place you'd think to look.

8. The Chinese moon base that's been there for years: Ope! Sorry, didn't know anyone was already here.

What an incredible treasure trove of amazing artifacts. What else did you expect them to find?

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; brokentoilet; moon; satire

[ViLaLuz]

That is hilarious!! Karens triggered!

[Theophilus]

Frank Sinatra

[Reily]

Where’s Dick Tracy’s Moon Maid?

[Afterguard]

Lol! The I-4 monument.

[NorthMountain]

No ... that’s in Tycho ... on the near side. It just hasn’t been uncovered yet.

[central_va]

Just don’t touch it.

[Raycpa]

Is this where the socks lost in the dryer end uo?

[NorthMountain]

Definitely don’t touch it ...

IIRC, the sun rising over the crater lip activated it.

[fwdude]

How about all the missing mates of half the socks I have?

[SonnyBubba]

Alexander Shunnarah billboards. Have to be familiar with Alabama to get this one

[paudio]

The Little Prince

[vis a vis]

You can hold it.............

[vis a vis]

You can hold it.............

[freepertoo]

Jimmy Hoffa wearing the socks we lose in the drier.

[Glad2bnuts]

Only oldtimers get that one. The show that spawned the Flintstones to King of Queens, and others in between.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Brought to you by the DuMont Television Network

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!2ZYv!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe04d7fac-1559-4be2-89c4-3fe40a7a2fac_825x571.jpeg?fbclid=IwY2xjawRDpPpleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFVRjk0N250TDBIMkMyT3Nwc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHrqpiWSvxOFxJbGATSEyDme0qGjLwA5Nf2RF9spJ4mjJ98Bn87lDuYQLLzzg_aem_2m5Wga_eygn3P59Vgu0KeQ

[Hammerhead]

Jimmy Hoffer and my car keys

[Karliner]

Amelia Erhardt

[minnesota_bound]

They found an old abandon alien moonbase.