New 'Kamalexa' Edition Of Amazon Echo Will Just Ramble For 10 Minutes Without Ever Answering Your Questions

The Bee ^ | Oct 31, 2024 | The Bee

[dayglored]

U.S. — A special edition of the Amazon Echo was announced today featuring a brand new "Kamalexa" A.I. voice. Based on current Vice President Kamala Harris, the smart device responds to your questions in long, incoherent sentences, and is explicitly programmed to never actually give you any answers.

In a new commercial for the device, a woman asks Kamalexa what the weather is like for the day.

"Weather," Kamalexa responds. "Weather is big. Weather is exciting. Did you know files are stored in the cloud? Your files, they're all up there, up in the cloud. Hahaha. So, the climate is changing, and that's bad. I am not Donald Trump."

"Uh, OK. What time is it?" the woman then asks.

"The significance of the passage of time, right? The significance of the passage of time. When you think about it, there is a great significance to the passage of time."

Another ad features a child asking for a fact about space, to which Kamalexa replies, "Space is big. Space is exciting! It spurs our imagination and it forces us to ask big questions. Space. It affects us all and it connects us all."

"Ok, but tell me something about it," the child interjects. But the machine only laughs, and laughs, and laughs, causing the child to run from the room in fright.

Other fun responses Kamalexa can give include the following:

• How is the economy doing? "I was born in a middle-class family."

• Can you tell me a fun fact about the Roman Empire? "I didn't just fall out of the coconut tree yesterday. We exist in the context of what came before us."

• What's the traffic like today? "Who doesn't love a big yellow school bus?"

• Which candidate is currently winning in the polls? "We got to take this stuff seriously, as seriously as you are because you have been forced to have taken this seriously."

• Kamalexa, can you set a 3-minute timer? "It is time for us to do what we have been doing. And that time is every day."

The Kamalexa edition of Amazon Echo is now available for pre-order and is expected to be the best-selling version of the device, once you count the mail-in orders.

[dayglored]

The Bee stings again.

[dayglored]

As far as I can tell, all the quotes in this piece are actual real Kamala-isms.

She actually said these things. Yikes.

[Frank Drebin]

Someone please build this.

[Qwapisking]

the true test will be how close it comes to the salad making ability of the REAL kammy.

[alancarp]

"Someone please build this."

It would be broken within the first 10 minutes if I had one.

[dayglored]

> Someone please build this.

An interactive web page (type a question, get a response) should be possible. All you need is a combination of ChatGPT and an archive of Kamala statements...

[GOPJ]

Kamalexa, can you set a 3-minute timer? "It is time for us to do what we have been doing. And that time is every day."

The corrupt liberal press gave her a pass on this one... Wait - come to think of it they gave her a pass on all of 'em.

[avital2]

Kama-blah-blah

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Me: “Kamalexa? What means did the Socialist Democrats use to STEAL the 2020 Election from The American People?”

Kamalexa: *KA-BOOM!*

[Retrofitted]

I gave it a shot. I'm scared. This is ChatGPT's take on Kamala reciting the preamble to the Constitution:

"To conjure the forge of justice, and union tranquility, promoting ordinations of liberty, we, the people, establish the defense in posterity for prosperity of blessing and ordain powers united with welfare in ourselves."

What's so scary is that that AI version makes MORE sense than what Kamala really ever says!

[dayglored]

YIKES!!!