Trump Adds A Kennedy In Hopes He Will Draw All The Sniper Fire

Babylon Bee ^ | 8/23/24 | Babylon Bee

[hardspunned]

GLENDALE, AZ - The presidential race underwent a shakeup today, with Donald Trump adding a Kennedy to his team in hopes he will draw all the sniper fire. Following an assassination attempt at a Pennsylvania campaign rally in July, Trump sought to take drastic steps to increase his safety for the remainder of the campaign, including bringing on Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., a member of a family with a reputation for being shot at. "A brilliant move by the Trump campaign," said one political strategist. "With lingering questions about the competence of the Secret Service, Trump has decided to take matters into his own hands. Nothing will draw gunfire away from him more effectively than having a Kennedy standing next to you.”

[plain talk]

To steal a line from walking dead. That one has an increased testicular heft.

[hardspunned]

Was Sonny Bono a Kennedy? You got me. Which Kennedy did that?

[Chode]

[MS.BEHAVIN]

NOT funny, at ALL.
In poor taste, anyway you look at it.
I usually love The Bee, but this is too much.

[Responsibility2nd]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_LeMoyne_Kennedy

Death
Kennedy died on December 31, 1997, as the result of a skiing accident in Aspen Mountain, Colorado. He was playing football while on skis with several other members of the Kennedy family when, at approximately 4:15 p.m., he hit a tree. Kennedy was not wearing a helmet or other safety equipment. The family had been admonished by the ski patrol to cease the activity.[17] After the accident, Kennedy was taken to Aspen Valley Hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 5:50 p.m.[18]

[ChessExpert]

It is very funny.

Several people on X said it was not funny, that it was insensitive. They seem to be more sensitive to an assassination fifty-six years ago than to an assassination attempt on President Trump less than two months ago. Perhaps in their minds attempts are no big deal. Either that, or they revere Kennedys and are anti-Trump. These are unserious people with an unserious complaint. Ignore.

[Responsibility2nd]

OMG I hadn't realized the vastness of the Kennedy Curse.

 

 

Kennedy deaths

[edit]

• August 12, 1944 – Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. died when the military aircraft he was piloting exploded over East Suffolk, England.^[12]
• September 9, 1944 – William Cavendish, Marquess of Hartington, newlywed husband of Kathleen Kennedy, was fatally shot by a German sniper while leading his company near Heppen, Belgium.^[13]
• May 13, 1948 – Kathleen "Kick" Kennedy (formally known as Kathleen Cavendish, Marchioness of Hartington) died in a plane crash in France.^{[4][5][6][14]}
• August 23, 1956 – Arabella Kennedy died at birth.^[15]
• August 9, 1963 – Patrick Bouvier Kennedy died of infant respiratory distress syndrome two days after his premature birth on August 7 in Otis Air Force Base, Massachusetts.^[15]
• November 22, 1963 – U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald as he rode in a motorcade through Dealey Plaza in Dallas.^[15]
• June 5, 1968 – U.S. Senator and Democratic presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy was shot by Sirhan Sirhan in the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles on the night of his victory in the California primary; Robert died the following morning.^{[4][5][6][14]}
• April 25, 1984 – David A. Kennedy, son of Robert F. Kennedy, died of a drug overdose in a Palm Beach, Florida hotel room.^[16]
• December 31, 1997 – Michael LeMoyne Kennedy, son of Robert F. Kennedy, died in a skiing accident after crashing into a tree in Aspen, Colorado.^{[17][1][4][5][6][18][14]}
• July 16, 1999 – John F. Kennedy Jr. died when the plane he was piloting crashed into the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts.
• September 16, 2011 – Kara Kennedy died of a heart attack while exercising in a Washington, D.C. health club.
• May 16, 2012 – Mary Richardson Kennedy died by suicide on the grounds of her home in Bedford, New York.^[14][19]
• August 1, 2019 – Saoirse Kennedy Hill, granddaughter of Robert F. Kennedy, died of an accidental overdose at the Kennedy Compound in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts.^[20]
• April 2, 2020 – Maeve Kennedy McKean disappeared with her eight-year-old son, Gideon, during a short canoe trip in Chesapeake Bay.^[21] Their bodies were recovered from the bay later that week.^[22] Autopsies revealed that both had accidentally drowned in the turbulent and chilly water.^[23]

Kennedy disabilities

[edit]

• November 1941 – Rosemary Kennedy, age 23, struggled to read and write, and she suffered from mood swings, seizures, and violent outbursts. During birth, Rosemary was deprived of oxygen as her mother and nurse waited for the doctor to arrive.^[24] As she grew older, she became more rebellious and the family worried she would do something that could tarnish the Kennedy reputation.^[25] In an attempt to cure or treat his daughter, Joseph Kennedy secretly arranged for her to undergo a prefrontal lobotomy, which was seen as a promising treatment for various mental illnesses. Instead of saving Rosemary, the now-discredited procedure left her mentally and physically incapacitated. Rosemary remained institutionalized in seclusion, in rural Wisconsin, until her death in 2005.^{[4][5][6][18][14]} Her family remained distant for most of Rosemary's life, but Eunice Kennedy Shriver, her sister, grew close to her later in life. Eunice went on to found the Special Olympics and the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. Foundation which researches developmental and intellectual disabilities.^[25]
• December 19, 1961 – Joseph P. Kennedy Sr., age 73, suffered a massive stroke which left him paralyzed on his right side. He also struggled with aphasia, which severely affected his ability to speak.^[26]
• November 17, 1973 – Edward M. Kennedy Jr., age 12, had his right leg surgically amputated as a result of bone cancer. He underwent an experimental two-year drug treatment to cure the cancer.^[27][28]

Other incidents

[edit]

• June 19, 1964 – U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy survived a plane crash that killed one of his aides as well as the pilot. The plane was on its way to a Democratic State Endorsing Convention in Springfield.^[29] The small plane crashed in an apple orchard near Southampton, Massachusetts. The senator was pulled from the wreckage by passenger (and fellow senator) Birch Bayh. Kennedy spent five months in a hospital recovering from a broken back, a punctured lung, broken ribs, and internal bleeding.^{[4][5][14][30]} Following the crash, Bobby Kennedy remarked to aide Ed Guthman: "Somebody up there doesn't like us."^[31]
• July 18, 1969 – Ted Kennedy accidentally drove his car off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island, Massachusetts, resulting in the drowning death of 28-year-old passenger Mary Jo Kopechne.^{[4][5][6][7][14]} In his televised statement a week later, Ted said that on the night of the incident he wondered "whether some awful curse did actually hang over all the Kennedys."^[32] Ted did not report the accident to the police until the next morning and pled guilty to a charge of leaving the scene of an accident.^[33]
• August 13, 1973 – Joseph P. Kennedy II was the driver of a Jeep that crashed and left his passenger, Pam Kelley, paralyzed. Fellow passenger and brother David A. Kennedy was injured.^[4][6][18]
• May 4, 2006 – Congressman Patrick J. Kennedy crashed his automobile while intoxicated into a barricade on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., at 2:45 a.m. He later revealed an addiction to prescription medications Ambien and Phenergan and pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of prescription drugs, sentenced to one year probation and a fine of $350.^[34][35]

See also

[alternatives?]

What did you think of Blazing Saddles?

[rdcbn1]

That was in really bad taste.

[Captain Peter Blood]

In very bad taste I think.

[Biblebelter]

Social and political commentary is not always humorous.

Mark Twain and Ambrose Bierce come to mind.

I remember when Mort Sahl went on stage and told TRUTHS that could only be told by someone who was also a humorist.

I believe it was after Arthur Bremer was arrested for shooting George Wallace.

And Mort Sahl commented on the fact Bremer had left a diary.

Mort said, “No one writes much any more let alone keeps a diary. Why is it every crazed lone assassin leaves a diary?”

Then the punch line, “You can’t tell me that the CIA hasn’t been working overtime.”

I’ve been suspicious of diaries ever since.

Like Monica Lewinsky’s who was likely an Israeli op as her daddy had ties to Israel intelligence.

Or when Roger Altman had someone working for him named Josh Steiner and who had to testify before congress that he lied to his diary.

Oh, that Clinton Crime Family.

[The Antiyuppie]

“The BB should have passed on this one.“

Agreed.

[waredbird]

Too soon.

[Bishop_Malachi]

Tasteless? Meh...maybe. Funny?....yes!

We’ve got a whole bunch of people posting here who probably aren’t much fun at parties.

[LizzieD]

Love the Bee but this one is not funny.

[Preachin']

Very poor taste....

[Guenevere]

Agree

[martin_fierro]

At publishing time, pundits speculated that RFK, Jr.'s endorsement was likely to be rewarded by his receiving an appointment as CIA Director in Trump's administration, which, in turn, could open the door to the ironic possibility of the CIA being killed by a Kennedy.

Ok, that is very, very good.

[hardspunned]

To be more precise.

“Shatter the CIA into a thousand pieces and scatter it to the winds”

Oh, this is good. This is very good.

[beaversmom]

This is not funny.