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Armless, Legless Biden Claims Debate Defeat Just A Flesh Wound
Babylon Bee ^ | Jun 29, 2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/01/2024 8:32:08 AM PDT by dayglored

ATLANTA, GA — With both of his arms and legs cut clean off by the end of the debate, President Biden has continued to insist that the defeat was "merely a flesh wound."

"Come back here and take what's coming to you, Donald! I'll bite your legs off!" shouted Biden. "Joe Biden always triumphs!"

According to sources, Trump had encouraged the overmatched Biden to simply step aside, but Biden refused to do so despite losing one limb after the other. "Joe, you've got no arms left, believe me. Very sad, No-Arms Joe," said Trump. "Not going to shoot too well on the golf course without arms, I'll tell you that. Just admit it, Joe."

"It's a scratch! Look at these arms," cried Biden, waving his stumps around. "I can shoot twenty under par like this! Come back here and fight, you chicken! Chickennn!"

"I'll have your legs, Joe. I don't want to, frankly that sounds terrible," replied Trump. "No legs, can't even walk, not like the people walking across our border, Joe."

"Have at you!" shouted Biden. "I'm invincible!!!!"

At publishing time, Democratic strategists had gently asked the now three-foot-tall Biden if he might make way for a candidate with limbs, but Biden insisted he was barely hurt.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; montypython; satire
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To: dayglored

One of the Bee’s best satires ever. Biden is a defiant, angry, bitter old codger who won’t give up willingly.


21 posted on 07/01/2024 10:46:44 AM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.)
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To: DCBryan1

Joe’s flesh wound is badly infected and no voter wants to take a chance of becoming also infected.


22 posted on 07/01/2024 11:21:26 AM PDT by chopperk (are)
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To: dayglored

Fake News says President Retard is quicker on his feet without any limbs now


23 posted on 07/01/2024 12:44:45 PM PDT by NWFree (Somebody has to say it 🤪)
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To: dayglored

President Biden, what is the capital of Assyria?

24 posted on 07/01/2024 12:56:30 PM PDT by Mat_Helm
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To: Mat_Helm; SomeCallMeTim

Pinging SomeCallMeTim to the previous post...


25 posted on 07/01/2024 1:40:27 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored

“Right... I’ll do ya’ for that”


26 posted on 07/01/2024 1:41:17 PM PDT by Bullish (...And just like that, I was dropped from the ping-list)
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To: joethedrummer
> “..WHAT…. is your favorite flavor ice cream?..”


27 posted on 07/01/2024 1:44:10 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: Mat_Helm

Have at you!!!

I think, we should give them ALL a good spanking ! And then, the oral..


28 posted on 07/01/2024 1:44:21 PM PDT by SomeCallMeTim (C)
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To: shadowlands1960

Tis a flesh wound. I’ve had worse


29 posted on 07/01/2024 1:45:09 PM PDT by SomeCallMeTim (C)
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To: left that other site
> He turned me into NEWT!

Ummm, I got better...

30 posted on 07/01/2024 1:53:01 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored

LOL


31 posted on 07/01/2024 3:09:49 PM PDT by left that other site (If they can do it to a Billionaire President, they can do it to YOU. )
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