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Armless, Legless Biden Claims Debate Defeat Just A Flesh Wound
Babylon Bee ^
| Jun 29, 2024
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 07/01/2024 8:32:08 AM PDT by dayglored
![](https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/66805dc37f90e66805dc37f90f.jpg)
ATLANTA, GA — With both of his arms and legs cut clean off by the end of the debate, President Biden has continued to insist that the defeat was "merely a flesh wound."
"Come back here and take what's coming to you, Donald! I'll bite your legs off!" shouted Biden. "Joe Biden always triumphs!"
According to sources, Trump had encouraged the overmatched Biden to simply step aside, but Biden refused to do so despite losing one limb after the other. "Joe, you've got no arms left, believe me. Very sad, No-Arms Joe," said Trump. "Not going to shoot too well on the golf course without arms, I'll tell you that. Just admit it, Joe."
"It's a scratch! Look at these arms," cried Biden, waving his stumps around. "I can shoot twenty under par like this! Come back here and fight, you chicken! Chickennn!"
"I'll have your legs, Joe. I don't want to, frankly that sounds terrible," replied Trump. "No legs, can't even walk, not like the people walking across our border, Joe."
"Have at you!" shouted Biden. "I'm invincible!!!!"
At publishing time, Democratic strategists had gently asked the now three-foot-tall Biden if he might make way for a candidate with limbs, but Biden insisted he was barely hurt.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; montypython; satire
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"NONE SHALL PASS!" - The Bee
Monty Python, for those who don't get it...
1
posted on
07/01/2024 8:32:08 AM PDT
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
It’s but a scratch! ……….ive had worse!
2
posted on
07/01/2024 8:34:43 AM PDT
by
DCBryan1
(Inter arma enim silent leges! - Cicero )
To: dayglored
I am surprised that biden even admits/recognizes that he lost the first debate. According to Dr Jill he did well by answering each question. What a dysfunctional, screwed up family the Bidens are.
3
posted on
07/01/2024 8:40:32 AM PDT
by
353FMG
To: dayglored
4
posted on
07/01/2024 8:44:07 AM PDT
by
left that other site
(If they can do it to a Billionaire President, they can do it to YOU. )
To: dayglored
I’m no Monty python fan by any stretch but THAT was hilarious
5
posted on
07/01/2024 8:44:19 AM PDT
by
V_TWIN
(America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
To: 353FMG
“What a dysfunctional, screwed up family...”
Yeah but their abject criminality makes up for all that right? 😂
6
posted on
07/01/2024 8:47:12 AM PDT
by
V_TWIN
(America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
To: V_TWIN
7
posted on
07/01/2024 8:48:07 AM PDT
by
shadowlands1960
(We live in a world of intolerance masked as tolerance. RUSH LIMBAUGH)
To: shadowlands1960
What will you do? Bleed on me?!
8
posted on
07/01/2024 8:51:53 AM PDT
by
DCBryan1
(Inter arma enim silent leges! - Cicero )
To: dayglored
The iceberg caused no damage at all.
9
posted on
07/01/2024 8:57:05 AM PDT
by
bray
(It's not racist to be racist against races you do not like.)
To: DCBryan1
heh... this one is always fun to watch. I couldn't stop laughing at the
Brave Sir Robin Ran Away scene...I miss real comedy.
10
posted on
07/01/2024 8:57:36 AM PDT
by
shadowlands1960
(We live in a world of intolerance masked as tolerance. RUSH LIMBAUGH)
To: shadowlands1960
“Alright, we’ll call it a draw!”
11
posted on
07/01/2024 8:58:17 AM PDT
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: dayglored
A flesh wound would be correct.
A brain wound, or mind wound, could not happen, since there’s nothing there.
12
posted on
07/01/2024 8:59:11 AM PDT
by
adorno
(CCH)
To: dfwgator
Answer me these questions three, or the other side ye not see!
13
posted on
07/01/2024 9:01:46 AM PDT
by
z3n
(Kakistocracy)
To: DCBryan1
A pudding pop will fix that right up.
14
posted on
07/01/2024 9:11:40 AM PDT
by
bgill
(.)
To: dayglored
>
"Joe, you've got no arms left, believe me. Very sad, No-Arms Joe," said Trump. "Not going to shoot too well on the golf course without arms, I'll tell you that. Just admit it, Joe." They manage to get Trump's trademark phrasing down perfect.
15
posted on
07/01/2024 9:12:55 AM PDT
by
dayglored
(Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
To: z3n
“..WHAT…. is your favorite flavor ice cream?..”
16
posted on
07/01/2024 9:19:09 AM PDT
by
joethedrummer
(We can't vote our way out of this, folks..)
To: DCBryan1
"You lie!"
"COME ON, YA PANSY!"
To: dayglored
18
posted on
07/01/2024 10:07:41 AM PDT
by
SecondAmendment
(The history of the present Federal Government is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations ...)
To: SecondAmendment; null and void
>
When will the Bee follow up with The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog ? Maybe they can conflate it with the Easter Bunny leading Joe to safety...
But ultimately, it's gonna be "BRING OUT YER DEAD!" and "But I don't want to go on the cart! I feel fine!"
Pinging Null and Void because it's only a matter of time...
19
posted on
07/01/2024 10:32:23 AM PDT
by
dayglored
(Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
To: dayglored
Looks like he was totally dis-armed and de-feeted.
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