Posted on 06/21/2024 2:49:31 PM PDT by COBOL2Java
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Planning for the President's much-anticipated faceoff with Donald Trump began in earnest this week, as a group of the world's top scientists convened in a secret lab to develop the perfect drug cocktail for Joe Biden to make it through a one-hour debate.
The lab, reportedly located deep underground beneath an unsuspecting industrial laundromat, was tasked with concocting a substance that would be strong enough to help the president maintain some semblance of alertness and cognitive focus for his debate with Trump.
"We've got our brightest minds working on this," said one inside source who asked to remain anonymous. "Keeping Biden coherent and intelligible for an entire hour seems like an impossible task, but we have no choice but to come up with some pharmaceutical combination that will give him a fighting chance."
Thus far, the team of leading scientists and chemists have tested a number of drug cocktails on President Biden, with varying results. "There have been a few promising ones, but nothing completely effective," the source disclosed. "They usually start off well but wear off too quickly. Our last attempt kept him alert for 20 minutes before he started trying to eat the podium microphone. We'll keep trying."
Administration insiders admitted that it may be difficult to keep Biden in good condition for the debate without making it obvious that he was pumped full of highly illegal chemical compounds.
At publishing time, the Trump team had reportedly begun work on a list of great nicknames for Joe Biden.
The Bee but Not the Bee, if you know what I mean. Sometimes the Bee is not the Bee, even thought it is the Bee.
I thought they were going to have a fake Biden in the debate.
“ group of the world’s top scientists convened in a secret lab to develop the perfect drug cocktail for Joe Biden to make it through a one-hour debate.”
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It’s a secret lab located underground in a large well guarded building in the suburbs of Wuhan, China,
Clearly, someone at the Bee is a Breaking Bad fan.
All stimulants have serious risks, especially for a man with health like Biden.
They need Dr. Morell, Hitler’s doctor to come alive and administer his concoctions to Biden.
Seems like a remote controlled suppository with a small electric charge could be used to keep him animated.
Give him the cocktail plus 3 Covid boosters!
who says they are not?
They don’t care. Just have to keep him alive until NOV.
Provide a square of micro-dot just before Lunchbox Joe is moved onto the stage. Watch the fun begin at half past.
They have the best man working on this...
They’re crossing the line into real news reporting again.
Now watch. He’ll collapse unexpectedly in the middle of the debate.
Can someone in the Trump camp spritz Biden's microphone with Eau de Lolita to get him to sniff it for the entire ninety minutes?
Biden will look In top form.
Bizarre I know but..
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