9 Classic Star Wars Scenes Disney Is Editing To Add Pronouns

Babylon Bee ^ | Jun 19, 2024 | Babylon Bee

[dayglored]

Brace yourselves, Star Wars fans! Your favorite franchise is going through yet another round of revisions to create new editions, but not in the way you may have expected. As part of its ongoing quest to turn Star Wars into a shining example of diversity and inclusion, Disney is going through all the films to insert important pronoun references.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of a few of the classic Star Wars scenes Disney is changing to add pronouns:

1. "I'm Luke Skywalker, he/him, I'm here to rescue you!" — Rescue or not, there's always time for preferred pronouns.

2. "I... I killed them. I killed them all. And not just the men, he/him... but the women, she/her... and the children, they/them, too." — So much better with proper pronoun etiquette.

3. "You will go to the Dagobah system. There you will learn from Yoda, xe/xim, the Jedi Master who instructed me." — Like his species, Yoda's pronouns remain of mysterious origin.

4. "No... I am your father, he/him!" — It may seem self-explanatory on the surface, but you never know these days.

5. "Meesa called Jar Jar Binks, they/them, meesa your humble servants!" — This explains a lot.

6. "Do they/them have a code clearance? It's an older pronoun, sir, but it checks out." — Even the Dark Lord of the Sith draws the line at misgendering.

7. "Somehow... Palpatine, he/him, has returned." — Lazy writing can be improved by the helpful inclusion of pronouns.

8. "You can't win, Darth. If you misgender me, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." — We've all seen the consequences of daring to misgender anyone.

9. "May the Force, she/her, be with you." — You knew it was coming. The ultimate example of female empowerment.

And you all thought there wasn't any way to make Star Wars even better. Shame on you!

[plain talk]

My fav

“Do they/them have a code clearance?

It’s an older pronoun, sir, but it checks out.”

— Even the Dark Lord of the Sith draws the line at misgendering.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Got me again.

Disney will probably do it, though.

[dayglored]

> Disney will probably do it,

You just know they are drooling over the prospect...

[Ciaphas Cain]

I once had dinner with Paul Blake, the actor who played Greedo. I couldn’t resist asking him about what he thought regarding “Greedo shot first.” His reaction was golden. “I think it’s absolute bollocks what Mr. Lucas did with our movie! I mean Greedo WAS holding a gun on Han. Han was perfectly justified in shooting Greedo. I will never understand why he went back and did that to our scene!”

[HereInTheHeartland]

“Babylon Bee - We don’t publish “satire”. We publish “spoilers”.”

Hah!
Truth

[Alas Babylon!]

Over the years Jabba gets whiter and whiter:

[nesnah]

This was the original Jabba.

[UnwashedPeasant]

Leaving out the pronoun declarations is implicit transphobia.

Source: I majored in Implicit Transphobia at Iowa Agricultural College

/s

[Alas Babylon!]

I know. Episode 4 was 1977. Episode 6 was 1983, Episode 1 was 1999 and the Clone Wars 2008.

[frogjerk]

No, Jabba will wear a bikini and will be played by Lizzo

[dayglored]

> Jabba will wear a bikini and will be played by Lizzo

My eyes are already in pain just thinking about that!!

[butlerweave]

but star wars is dead , Bee or not ,LOL

[PLMerite]

[Source: I majored in Implicit Transphobia at Iowa Agricultural College]

I bet their course of study in “Animal Husbandry” is epic.