𝙊𝙈𝙂!!! 𝙇𝘼𝙕𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙏𝘼𝙕 𝘿𝙄𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙊𝙉𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏!!!!

7/22/2023 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

First of all, much to the dismay of many, I did not die tonight.

Secondly, I've seen these funeral threads before where people mourn the FReeper and talk about what they meant to them (and more than a few FReepers who celebrate the death).

But what's the point of that? Does the dead FReeper know anything, or see any of the kind or crass remarks about them?

No. Pointless. We should have these sort of threads BEFORE they die.

So that's why I'm doing my obituary thread tonight. Plus, there is the added advantage of me knowing the exact date (7/22/2023) and and time (10:34PM) of my death!

Arrangements may be sent to: Egotistical Clown Funeral Home, 2312 Dumb Vanity Road, Atlanta, GA. 30321

Donations on his behalf may be sent to the Gun Owners of America.

[Prince of Space]

His “smile lit up a room. “

*Said about every victim on crime shows. 🤮

[Kartographer]

"His “smile lit up a room.

I was because he always brushed his teeth with Bon Ami

[BipolarBob]

Poor Laz. He will be moderately missed.
His early life was uneventful. It was discovered he was dyslexic when they sent him to Cox's to buy a seersucker suit and instead he went to Sears.
Nasty rumors of him shooting the juke box at Fast Freds is not true.
He rarely danced in the rain although he thought it was a really good idea.
Sadly, he never got to get his dream job of operating a ferris wheel at Walt Disney World because they didn't trust him with heavy equipment.
In lieu of flowers, send condoms to Madame Orr's House for wayward women.

[Apple Pan Dowdy]

Laz,
Did you ever see the movie “Get Low” (staring Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek) BTW: I was an extra in the funeral scene filmed out at Pickett's Mill Battlefield State Park in Newman, GA. It’s based on the true story about a Tennessee hermit in the 1930s who throws his own funeral party while still alive.

Here are my words for you (borrowed from Dylan Thomas)….

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[teeman8r]

Who dis?

New thread.

[Brooklyn Attitude]

Remember the story about when Laz was hiking and he used a knife to kill a bear that was attacking his dog, oh wait...

[PIF]

Condolences

may your passing be merry and bright.

[Bullish]

Hey, you may have died but the legend will live on.

[Brooklyn Attitude]

“Personally, Laz meant a lot to me. He’d routinely crack me up or make me think differently. I will miss him greatly”

The only thing I remember about that guy was that he was always hitting women.

[Worldtraveler once upon a time]

Posted on 7/22/2023, 11:11:48 PM

Over 200 comments between almost midnight and before 7 AM EST.

Who's sleeping through the night these days?

[Psalm 73]

In fine Freeper tradition, I did not read the article, just the headline - so of course, I'll comment on that.

I am so sorry that you are dead, Laz, mainly because I loved your take on life, politics, and on what we consider "reality".

I do believe that you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that if you're as dead as you claim to be, you are surely with Him in Paradise.

And I'm sorry that I called you Shirley.

[Sacajaweau]

A true gentleman to the end....Only hit on 3 and up....

[EEGator]

I always enjoyed your posts. May your death go swimmingly.
Toodles…

[TalBlack]

…we’ll be LOOKED dead…

[exit82]

Your death would mean a void in all of us, because your humor never fails to bring a smile to our face.

Thank you for all the laughs over the years.

You are a unique light, which will never brighten our way again once it goes out.

I hope you realize how much you are appreciated, old friend.

You still owe me 50 bucks, dead or alive.

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

You got me, you jerk.

[Prov1322]

Laz lived by these immortal words...

“Everybody’s probably gonna die from somethin.” — Former US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders

Stay well FRiend. You still owe me $100.

[martin_fierro]

[RaceBannon]

https://youtu.be/5p2k55F-uag

[SamAdams76]

At least a few thousand homely looking women, who would not otherwise have been “done” by anybody, are heartbroken.