Posted on 07/13/2022 12:38:30 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
PROVIDENCE, RI — According to the results of a new study conducted by Brown University, exactly 100% of work meetings ever held in all of human history, across all industries and sectors, have been entirely unnecessary.
Researchers followed careful criteria while observing real-life business meetings to understand what constitutes a successful meeting. Successful meetings, they said, would qualify as a valid use of time. Researchers took detailed notes on employee engagement, follow through on meeting action plans, and whether or not meetings were actually about something. In all meetings observed, none met the criteria of a successful meeting and were thus deemed a complete waste of time.
"My team sat in on over 3,000 meetings. All of them met with disaster," said Dr. Ansul Sundilhop. "I, myself, once witnessed a meeting in which the person who called the meeting had no idea he had done so. Employees sat quietly for twenty minutes waiting for someone to speak before giving up and returning to their workstations."
"The amount of data we've put together from this study has been astronomical. I really hope it'll help businesses improve their efficiency and work relationships," he added.
Highlights from the study include:
- Over 83% of meetings end with employees confused about who does what.
- 45% of meetings feature a sleeping employee.
- Employees invited to mandatory work meetings are 91% more likely to experience suicidal thoughts.
- Over half of all meetings are put together so that one ambitious employee can show off to their boss that they can run a meeting.
According to sources, business leaders have taken the results of the study to heart and are currently holding meetings to brainstorm alternatives to meetings.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
A friend of mine and her co-workers, who had been successfully working remotely for over two years, recently were ordered to return to the office.
... To watch a Zoom meeting starring their “Big Boss.”
I remember some Teachers’ Meeting where the topic discussed was 2” of paper, legal or A4, to go into the copy machine.
The Jester was the only one who could tell the King the truth.
most of the “managerial” staff in this country is not needed whatsoever...and the more silly degrees they possess, the worse they are....
Legislatures are nothing meetings of meetings with all real decision making delegated to the lifer apparatchiks of the executive agencies.
40 years in the financial services industry. Responsible for multi-million dollar contracts, hiring and firings etc. with a gun to my head I might be able to remember 3-4 meeting that couldn’t have been handled with a memo or an email.
Meetings were easily 20-25% of my time.
I swear I once went to a meeting, the subject of which was a separate, upcoming meeting on the subject of;
Meetings.
When I ran meetings, we had a start time, a finish time, a clear agenda which we stuck too and no extraneous bs.
When colleagues knew I was to chair a committee, they volunteered to serve on it.
Also, when meetings dragged on and on and people who love to hear themselves talk, I simply excused myself and left to attend “necessary family matters.”
So did you stay with the company?
Many meetings are worthless. But I can remember many meetings that made something change per the goal set. So I call BS on this “ study”. It simply is not true.
Don’t laugh too hard but while working for a Fortune 50 that was my primary job: Plan for a plan. While working as a chief architect/engineer my job was to create billion dollar programs starting with the plan for a plan. Basically, what will need to be considered in the planning process; large scale enterprise wide architectures, personnel, current programs and incorporations, mergers and acquisitions, regulatory compliance, financials, executive reporting structures, on and on.
Bee got ya.
Of course.
Yep!
Got tired of it.
Had high hopes....
Yep, lol 😂
Understandable
I had a chance to escape to another, umm, kinder, gentler Big 6 company.
My nieces were in town from out of state at the time - about 5 and 14 - I was watching them so I (having flown back in town and boy were my arms tired) would have had to drag them to the interview
But I screwed up again, twice, as pressing family matters kept me from two jobs where I would have been acting CEO and acting VP at another. Hated passing them up
In retrospect......big oops
If it weren’t for meetings, what, pray tell, would employees post into those expensive electronic scheduling software packages that are installed on everyone’s computers?
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