How to have SEX with monkeypox: CDC releases bizarre guide telling patients to 'keep their clothes on' or 'masturbate six feet from their partner' if the urge arises while infected

UK Daily Mail ^ | June 16, 2022 | Luke Andrews

[C19fan]

The CDC has issued bizarre guidance telling Americans infected with monkeypox to have sex by masturbating at least six feet away from their partner, among other recommendations.

Guidance from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says anyone who has the disease must not have sex.

[cymbeline]

“Is “6 feet” forever now a magical number?”

I’d say 6 feet only if the guy’s “vector” is 6 feet long.

[SisterK]

as if I need more reason to despise paying taxes

[HP8753]

Their arms aren’t long enough to be 6 ft away from their partner.

[Antoninus]

This is what the CDC has come to. How pathetic.

[llevrok]

During the early days of Covid and the lock downs, King County Washington (a.k.a Seattle) suggested a wall or shower curtain between you and the other participant

Heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further. A barrier—like a wall or a shower curtain—between you and your partner allows sexual contact but prevents face to face contact. Get creative and DIY your own~

[faithhopecharity]

Yes. Jerking yourself off while at least six feet away from anybody else — sounds like the government’s idea of sex.

Let them enforce that rule on elected officials first and maybe our problems with corrupt and traitorous political hacks will phase out naturally

[Toespi]

Disclosing that this is mostly a homosexual disease could sure put a damper on PRIDE MONTH. So the CDC will continue to mislead people which will cause more outbreaks.

[fruser1]

Pic from article.

[cdcdawg]

Our tax dollars at work. Yikes!

[bray]

Don’t identify as a male homosexual and you have nothing to worry about.

[Waverunner]

If don't have the control because she looks like priscilla pressley and you can't say eughh and exit the room, immediately, then do what Frank Drebin does for safe sex.

[Roman_War_Criminal]

We still have at least 10 FReepers who love to quote the CDC for “truth”.

[DoughtyOne]

Smile...

In the old days so did I. I used to order the MMMR report.

I trusted the organization.

COVID cleared that up for me. Makes me wonder when they
left the trail I’m on.

[Chgogal]

Our Government is an embarrassment.

[Roman_War_Criminal]

Covid woke a lot of smart people up.
I smelled a rat back in the early 2000s when they pushed the “flu shot” religiously every fall and frowned sternly on you if you did not take it.

[Craftmore]

coat the gerbil with sanitizer

[DoughtyOne]

I was working in a hospital in those days, and the head
IV Nurse was the hospital driver of the flu vaccine.

She would kid me about it every year for a long time. In
fact, as I think back on it, there were two of them over
time. They were nice ladies and I think I took them up
on it once over a decade or more.

I’m a healthy person. I catch some sort of bug about
every three to five years. I’ve never worried about it.

I’m 71 now, and I still don’t buy into it.

[Freedom of Speech Wins]

Doesn’t mention masks.

[Roman_War_Criminal]

👍
I don’t buy it either and I never worried about the flu.

[Presbyterian Reporter]

come on man, this was really published by the Babylon Bee.