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Dad Gives 2-Hour Demonstration On How To Flip A Light Switch To The 'Off' Position
The Babylon Bee ^ | February 16, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/17/2022 9:34:59 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

FRANKLIN, MN—Amid growing frustration with lights being left on around the house, local father James Darabont sat his kids down to demonstrate how to flip a light switch to the "Off" position. The two-hour lecture and workshop went over when to turn a light switch off (always) and how to manipulate your fingers to accomplish such a task.

"When you commit to a flipping action," said Mr. Darabont, "you must make sure the light switch goes alllll the way down. If you do not commit fully to the action, the switch may not fully click in the 'down' position. This will raise Daddy's power bill immensely!"

Richard and Annabelle Darabont, ages 7 and 12 respectively, reportedly got the message after five minutes but had to sit through a further 115 minutes and take a final exam.

According to sources, both children failed.

"Kids, if you don't turn the lights off then how will you learn to take care of yourselves?" the disappointed father said. "Leaving the lights on when no one is in the room is exactly the same as stealing."

James Darabont eventually had to cut his lesson short so his wife could begin a 3-day lecture on how to clean up after yourself.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Education; Humor; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: children; cleaning; dad; energy; lightswitch; mom; powerbills; satire
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Tomorrow’s lesson: You don’t live in a barn. How to close doors.


41 posted on 02/17/2022 11:20:53 AM PST by I want the USA back (Government is to be feared much more than the chicom virus.)
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To: Bob434

>Growing up we lived in Darkness, learning to navigate the house with a series of clicks and extra sensory perception.

This is the way. You can’t train good night vision by having the lights on all the time!

There may be times when one doesn’t want a light leading your way ... and then there’s always this ‘outdoors’ thing kids have heard of on YouTube. :p


42 posted on 02/17/2022 11:31:46 AM PST by No.6
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To: Cecily

Mom was all about the cost of electricity! I miss the soft white bulbs of the past. I stocked up on the 100 watt but like the 40-60 watt for lamps. Just used my last one. I’ve tried the new bulbs but hate the bright white. Doesn’t make a room cozy at all.


43 posted on 02/17/2022 11:33:58 AM PST by peggybac (My will is what I wanted. God's will is what I got.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

My son has trained his children so well, that they cut off all my lights when they are visiting. We always leave the downstairs main restroom light on. It’s just always been that way. When my grandchildren are here, even the two year old reaches up and cuts off the light when she exits the restroom. Since I don’t want to interfere with his “lights off” training, I don’t say anything. But, I have to admit that I’m the one who is bad about leaving the lights on.


44 posted on 02/17/2022 11:40:07 AM PST by CFW
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To: peggybac

You need to get the LED bulbs that are in the 2700-2900 kelvin temperature (warm white) range. They look like incandescence bulbs.


45 posted on 02/17/2022 11:45:03 AM PST by stevio
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To: I want the USA back

“CLOSE THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR !!! Unless You ate it, the same stuff is still in there.”

“CLOSE THE DOOR !!! We are not going to Heat/Air Condition the entire neighborhood !!!”


46 posted on 02/17/2022 11:45:22 AM PST by mabarker1 ((Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!! A fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I'm a member of Congress !!!!)
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To: No.6

Yup- we grew up in the woods- everyday we were out there riding bikes on paths made through them (then later minibikes and motorcycles), building forts, did some trapping as a kid, we were hardly ever i n the house- nowadays you tell the kids to go outside and play, and they get panic attacks


47 posted on 02/17/2022 11:47:08 AM PST by Bob434
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To: newfreep

“James Darabont eventually had to cut his lesson short so his wife could begin a 3-day lecture on how to clean up after yourself.”

I didn’t even think to check for the Bee until I got there.


48 posted on 02/17/2022 11:51:12 AM PST by PLMerite ("They say that we were Cold Warriors. Yes, and a bloody good show, too." - Robert Conquest )
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To: peggybac
I’ve tried the new bulbs but hate the bright white.

Then don't buy bright white LED bulbs. A 2700K color temperature bulb is close to soft white of old. I like bright white (3000K) in the bathroom and daylight (5000K) in the workshop.

49 posted on 02/17/2022 11:59:13 AM PST by IndispensableDestiny
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I have often wondered - is there an extra drain on the electricity when a light (or appliance) is switched on?

Is it better sometimes to let the light be on for a time, than to turn it off and back on.

I know that certain machines have a start-up cost, maybe due to friction in the gears or something. So it’s better to let it run for a time.

Anybody know?

.


50 posted on 02/17/2022 12:03:27 PM PST by FroggyTheGremlim (I'll be good, I will, I will!)
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To: FroggyTheGremlim

Well, once upon a time, when I was in my environ-MENTAL phase of life before I became a conservative, I would love, love, LOVE to turn out lights at the office when nobody was in the room. One of my bosses corrected me on that notion, explaining that such habits could eventually wear out the switches, and to just leave them on until the end of the day.

Hopefully, that answers your question.

BTW, the lights are a pittance compared to the central heating and cooling in a home.


51 posted on 02/17/2022 12:43:02 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: Chode
Toddler Target is the first and only potty training aid of its kind available on the market today. It's a fun, and easy tool to help parents engage their boys in potty training! It is motion detected and will turn on and off with out the assistance of an adult, so little ones can feel empowered to use the potty without relying on help!

B0-A6-BEF4-27-B9-4319-BA60-735-D032-BB18-E

52 posted on 02/17/2022 12:48:06 PM PST by mabarker1 ((Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!! A fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I'm a member of Congress !!!!)
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To: mabarker1

the boy, was no problem, the girls on the otherhand...


53 posted on 02/17/2022 1:08:30 PM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Bob434

But the guano comes in so handy for the clever do it yourself family.


54 posted on 02/17/2022 1:24:09 PM PST by lastchance (Credo.)
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To: Bob434

It’s interesting how building forts seems to be hardwired into human beings to the point that kids will build them without questioning why. We built forts too as suburban kids, but why? It must have been an atavistic fear of the long gone natives.


55 posted on 02/17/2022 1:31:24 PM PST by Cecily
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To: Grampa Dave

So, like, separate checking accounts in the Grampa Dave household?


56 posted on 02/17/2022 1:49:52 PM PST by griffin (When you have to shoot, SHOOT; don't talk. -Tuco)
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To: scripter

What id like to see is a thermostat orientation class for the Lady of the House.

Theory and Operation of a closed loop thermal controller.


57 posted on 02/17/2022 1:57:05 PM PST by griffin (When you have to shoot, SHOOT; don't talk. -Tuco)
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To: Cecily

i think it might be kids wanting to pretend they have their own home- kind o f a sense of pretend independence


58 posted on 02/17/2022 2:00:56 PM PST by Bob434
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To: griffin

Mine was finally trained this year when our gas and electric bill hit $699. Now it’s the kids who need the thermostat orientation class. While I’d hate to have those timers you spin for N number of minutes, it would work great for where I need ‘em.


59 posted on 02/17/2022 2:25:05 PM PST by scripter
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To: griffin

like, separate checking accounts in the Grampa Dave household?”

One of my wife’s biggest fear of her retirement was only one checking account. She didn’t want to keep it nor argue with me on a lot of stuff.

We kept one checking acct. and each of us has a separate savings acct., and one bigger joint savings acct. for taxes and other significant expenses. If we write a check of reasonable non significance, the funds are transferred from our savings acct. to the one checking acct..

Big $ stuff like new roofs, ac units, comes out of the one big savings acct. which gets a regular amt per month each of us.

We got the concept from our CPA, who was also a friend and fellow church member. Her husband was a high level police officer and helped people to improve their security at work and at home. They joked that this system kept the wife from shooting the husband with his own Glock.

One of my wife’s best friend was a CPA and our system drove her nuts. We also never worry about deducting the exact amount of a check from our ledger/checkbook. If the cents amount was under 33 cents, you rounded down in your checkbook. If the cent amount was over 33 cents you rounded up in you checkbook. This drove my wife’s CPA friend even more insane. I got that system from my God Father who was a banker.

With today’s instant on line banking there is some adaptations.


60 posted on 02/17/2022 5:21:51 PM PST by Grampa Dave (“Cloth and paper masks are as worthless as the people, who wear and advocate them!” A Clemenza post!)
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