Posted on 08/07/2021 11:05:00 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
i’ve shot a lot of armadillos on my property...
they always die belly up...
Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
He was chicken.
Me -
1. To get away from the rooster chasing it.
2. To go after its little chicks that had crossed the road.
3. Because it drank too much corn liquor.
The chicken crossed the road to escape Joe Biden, who kept picking her up and sniffing her feathers.
RAYMOND CHANDLER: One night the chicken heard that Velma had been seen across the road, hanging out in a gin joint named Florian’s, so the chicken crossed the road, as fast as a rent collector chasing a deadbeat tennant.
Reagan: The chicken crossed the road because on the side of the road he was at there's no freedom.
Ron Paul: The CIA made the chicken cross the road to bomb the Trade Center.
Rand Paul: The chicken crossed the road to undermine yours and mine Constitutional Rights.
Nick Saban: The chicken crossed the road because he didn't want to work The Process.
Nancy Pelosi: I prayed to Peter and he told me to tax the chicken for crossing the road in case a rooster wants to become a hen.
Fauci: The chicken is unamerican if he crossed the road without wearing a mask and being vaccinated. Unless the chicken was an illegal alien crossing the border. Then he's safe for us.
Public Teacher: The chicken crossed the road to protest in person schools.
Xi: The chicken lost points on his social credit score for unauthorized crossing of the road.
Pope: Whatever Xi said.
Thanks for the laugh! :-)
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The chicken who crossed the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see the retard.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The chicken that crossed the road that came to see you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
SUPPLY SIDER: Lower taxes.
CLIMATE ALARMIST: Rising sea levels.
Why did the chicken cross the road???
To walk opposite the vaccination station....
Simone Biles: Because it was training so hard at road crossings that it had mental health issues and... whatever, it’s your fault.
Nina Simone: Because birds were flyin’ high, you know what I mean. Breeze driftin’ by, and you know what I mean. And over there was a New Day, A New Dawn, A New Life.... Fooooor ME.....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
....because it was too far to go around.
A Wise Man once said
Wherever you go
There you are
I can alla y’all them possums on the half shell make the most satisfying popping sound when run over by an 18 wheeler. Sounds like a nice single barrel shotgun going off.
Colonel Sanders was chasing it.....
I think that was Chico Marx, actually.
EDWARD SNOWDEN: The NSA videotapes all chickens crossing the roads.
AOC: That was a chicken???
MAXINE WATERS: Let them chickens know they are not welcome. Get in their face.
JERRY NADLER: Mngbhgdbgmmnghh *burp* what chicken?
REV. WRIGHT: The chicken was coming home to roost!
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