The Babylon Bee Guide To Choosing Safer Activities

The Babylon Bee ^ | 4-27-2021 | The Babylon Bee

[servo1969]

The CDC recently released a guide showing you when to wear a mask for indoor and outdoor activities. It was a reckless, irresponsible thing to do since it depicted some outdoor activities in which it's ok for vaccinated people to not wear a mask. This is literally murder. We here at the Babylon Bee have created a much safer guide that will help you make the right decisions because, unlike the CDC, we actually care about people. 

Here you go!

[servo1969]

Actual CDC guidence released today:

[wastedyears]

Must suck to live in a constant state of fear (not you servo).

[goodnesswins]

People have too much tI’m on their hands...this is ridiculous...micromanaging adult behaviors

[MinorityRepublican]

CDC is a joke, I didnt know until today that I was supposed to wear a mask outdoors.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

“micromanaging adult behaviors”

This is aimed at infantile adults who want more, more, more and MORE government to tell them what to do every single day about every aspect of their lives.

[TigersEye]

The infantilization of society. It’s part of their plan.

[TigersEye]

It is probably not a coincidence that we both posted at exactly the same time. :)

[familyop]

"Must suck to live in a constant state of fear (not you servo)."

Oh, yeah. I feel for people living in that State. But hang in there. Don't move! ;D

[DoodleBob]

You mean the vaccine only gets me TWO extra things I can do without a mask!?!!

What would we do without the CDC? Wither..die?

[Kickass Conservative]

I need the Poster.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

LOL...never saw that happen down to the very second!

As they say, GMTA!

[GreyHoundSailor]

Neither did I - and have stopped wearing one indoors too. Having a new shirt made that says ‘Make A Dental Appointment Before Axing About My Mask’.

[bitt]

p!

[airplaneguy]

Perfect.

[TigersEye]

I think I saw that happen once before. Years ago.

As they say, GMTA!

Yes, they do! :)

We're totally acing the bullseye. It's Idiocracy by design.

[dsc]

We are no longer required to wear masks in this town, but some people still do.

[fr_freak]

CDC is a joke, I didnt know until today that I was supposed to wear a mask outdoors.

While I was at the gym today, I saw an interview of a silly woman on one of the communist news networks who was saying "I'm so happy that the mask restrictions have loosened up! Now we can do more stuff outdoors!"

I was floored by the implications of it. If I believed that the Chinese COVID Lung Herpes was dangerous enough to make me wear a mask outside, I wouldn't give a damn if some egghead in DC suddenly said "Hey! You can go without masks outside!" It wouldn't occur to me to ignore presumed health risks because of some egghead in DC.

Likewise, if I thought that the Chinese COVID masks thing was a joke (which I do), then no dumbass egghead in DC would get me to wear one outside, or wherever, just by issuing an edict.

Yet this woman completely made her assessment of risk based on the proclamations of some invisible a-holes from DC, and literally lived and died by them, never ONCE taking responsibility for her own health, safety, or behavior.

We now live amongst docile sheep, waiting to be sheared. And the shearer cometh. Oh yes, the shearer cometh.

[matt04]

According to the handy CDC chart, literally nothing changes with the new guidance for any seen people. I mean that based on the fact that no normal person was Wearing a mask outside, and they still say going to eat at a restaurant is a dangerous activity, etc. Even if you’ve had the vaccine.

[Trump Girl Kit Cat]

Who in the hell would have ever thought you were expected to wear a mask OUTSIDE, Biteme said today that IF you were fully vaccinated you no longer had to wear a mask OUTSIDE!! GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK these bastards really think we are this stupid, I will NEVER wear a mask outside AND I will NEVER put that stinking vaccine in my body!!

[4Liberty]