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COVID 19 JOKES
The source is US | 3/30/2020 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 03/30/2020 4:00:09 PM PDT by Lazamataz

Ever one to see the humor in even the worst circumstances, I set out to try to lighten hearts with a little COVID-19 humor.

I authored these:

China got this virus right off the bat.

I now wash my hands, shower daily, and keep my house disinfected. All it took was the end of the world to become a human being.

With all the airports shut down or travel-restricted, CNN's viewership is now nearly 5 people.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: humor; jokes; laugh
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To: wastoute

families may learn to be families again.


121 posted on 03/30/2020 6:31:15 PM PDT by gdc61 (LOL not.)
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To: wastoute

“Nobody has contemplated nearly half the ways the world has changed.”

Five weeks ago I had never heard the term “social distancing” before.

Eight weeks ago I would have thought you were crazy to leave your mail unopened in the garage for a couple of days.

On Saturday I took TWO showers. Went to the post office to mail PPE stuff to extended family, came home, undressed in the garage, deconned the essentials and took a shower. It is such a hassle to go out anymore.

Get out of the shower. Voicemail from my wife. Can I go pick up Grandma’s medicine at the pharmacy. Sigh....


122 posted on 03/30/2020 6:31:53 PM PDT by 21twelve (Ever Vigilant. Never Fearful.)
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To: real saxophonist

ROFL! Wife will love that one!


123 posted on 03/30/2020 6:32:59 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: gdc61

Stolen from another thread:

The dog says “12 days alone in the house. Now do you understand why I chew the furniture?”


124 posted on 03/30/2020 6:33:28 PM PDT by 21twelve (Ever Vigilant. Never Fearful.)
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To: Lazamataz

We need to keep our sense of humor


125 posted on 03/30/2020 6:33:58 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: CodeToad

THAT was funny!


126 posted on 03/30/2020 6:34:41 PM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: Lazamataz

Chuck Norris has the Corona Virus..........

..........IN A HEAD LOCK!!!


127 posted on 03/30/2020 6:36:02 PM PDT by moehoward
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To: Okeydoker

A Grenade in the BurnBucket from time to time is a way of releasing the tensions and anxiety that has built up in a lot of people over the last few weeks. Yes the Sh@t flies in an unseemly manner for a few minutes and does appear in bad taste. However without it some people can be driven to the edge of despair without the health giving properties of a good laugh. After all, we may all have enough stress to contend with in the coming months, so sit back and have a medicinal laugh whist we all can.


128 posted on 03/30/2020 6:37:14 PM PDT by moose07 (DMCS (Dit Me Cong San ) Life really does begin at forty. Until then, you are just doing research.)
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To: McGruff
LOL. I can hear him saying that 😆 This is serious, but we have to stay strong and a good sense of humor helps!
129 posted on 03/30/2020 6:42:52 PM PDT by thesearethetimes... (Had I brought Christ with me, the outcome would have been different. Dr.Eric Cunningham)
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To: Jane Long
The Philadelphia area is gearing up to be ready to handle the potential influx of Covid -19 patients expected over the next couple weeks.

I am in awe of my co-workers and proud to be part of a health care system that is trying to meet the needs of the community. Almost everyone seems more pleasant and understanding. It is my honor to be a small part of the team.

130 posted on 03/30/2020 6:52:06 PM PDT by proud2beconservativeinNJ ("In God We Trust")
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To: Lazamataz; All

If you haven’t seen this lady she puts out some funny videos. Better then SNL has been in a long time.

https://twitter.com/conmomma/status/1244793656499785728

Plus she looks like Sarah Palin.


131 posted on 03/30/2020 6:57:41 PM PDT by McGruff (It came from China)
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To: Lazamataz
And if you are going out be sure to protect your vehicle.


132 posted on 03/30/2020 7:02:47 PM PDT by McGruff (It came from China)
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To: Lazamataz


133 posted on 03/30/2020 7:12:00 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
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To: Lazamataz

So the Texas governor announced that all travelers from California must be quarantined for 14 days upon arrival, no exceptions, or else face jailtime.

A reporter asked the governor if travelers from other states would be treated the same or differently for the remainder of the Coronavirus pandemic, whereupon the governor replied “Who said anything about Coronavirus?!”


134 posted on 03/30/2020 7:13:01 PM PDT by Mudcat (What would Reagan do?)
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To: 21twelve
"...came home, undressed in the garage, deconned the essentials and took a shower. It is such a hassle to go out anymore."

I do the same thing. If this keeps up, I'm going to build a shower in my garage...

135 posted on 03/30/2020 7:19:46 PM PDT by Dogbert41 (Jerusalem is the city of the Great King!!!)
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To: gdc61

Isn’t that great?


136 posted on 03/30/2020 7:26:26 PM PDT by wastoute (Government cannot redistribute wealth. Government can only redistribute poverty.)
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To: 21twelve

You have to learn how to survive in a contaminated world.


137 posted on 03/30/2020 7:27:08 PM PDT by wastoute (Government cannot redistribute wealth. Government can only redistribute poverty.)
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To: Lazamataz

138 posted on 03/30/2020 7:40:51 PM PDT by Delta 21 (Be strong & prosper, be weak & die! Stay true.... ~~ Donald J. Trump)
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To: Lazamataz
I think this is really good:

Rob Rio - 'Rona Virus Blues

139 posted on 03/30/2020 7:42:30 PM PDT by real saxophonist (If you don't have a gun, sell some toilet paper, and go buy a gun. - Colion Noir)
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To: Lazamataz

140 posted on 03/30/2020 8:07:40 PM PDT by eldoradude (Boycott Chinese made goods)
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