Posted on 02/02/2020 1:16:37 AM PST by Norski
WILLOW FALLS, NY—Pastor Chuck Nielsen of Foundations Church prides himself on his powerful, moving sermons.
But congregants began to grow concerned when Nielsen referenced articles from popular satire site The Babylon Bee in nearly every message.
"At first, we thought he was playing along, but it became increasingly clear that he thought the Bee was real news," said church member Edna Willis.
Nielsen has reportedly cited articles like "Elevation Church Debuts Water Slide Baptismal" and "Joel Osteen Sails Luxury Yacht Through Flooded Houston To Pass Out Copies Of 'Your Best Life Now'" to demonstrate how far the American church has fallen.
Worried church members staged an intervention.
"Pastor Chuck, we need to have a talk," said church secretary Betty Jameson. "We know how much you love The Babylon Bee, but --"
"Oh yes -- most reliable source of news out there!" Pastor Chuck replied enthusiastically. "I reference it for the latest facts about the church, politics, and current events often. I tell you what, I'd be up a creek if I didn't have the reporters at the Bee to keep me informed!"
"Yeah, about that..." she continued awkwardly. "It's... well, it's not real."
"What -- what do you mean?" he replied, confused. "It's fake? It can't be. It's on the internet and everything."
After several hours of explaining to the pastor how The Babylon Bee is satirical, he finally started to move through the stages of grief.
At publishing time, Pastor Chuck had discovered a new source of news to reference, The Onion.
Good to hear from you, how have you been?
We’re doing Ok. Pretty tired of the lockdown, though. It’s coming up on five months now. we’ve gotten out and about as much as possible, because how long you a person stay home? I’ve been volunteering at a large botanical garden, and they’ve finally reopened so I can go back to that. I really missed it!
We’re both retired now, so were looking forward to some travel this summer. Sigh. My husband retired in November, so the timing was just right so as not to have to deal with Covid. Perfect timing, I’d say!
How are you doing? I had just got to thinking about some of my friends here, though I’d drop in.
Don't underestimate your entertainment value, Big Guy.
I’m like that too with them. When they hit though it’s gold Jerry gold!
What would they think of Al Davis, “win baby win”?
OK there’s NO WAY that it is a coincidence that BOTH of you hit me up from a thread that was from February.
What gives? :)
Plus it feels like i posted that more recently
time flies
I wasn’t paying attention to the date. l plead innocence :)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.