Posted on 10/02/2019 5:44:05 AM PDT by eccentric
My 8-year-old grandson plays with fire. On Sunday he set a tree on fire. I have NOT found any local programs to deal with this issue. Nor have I found any videos to show to children with this problem. His mother (my DIL) isn't interested in discipline.
I would appreciate any suggestions.
I used to play with firecrackers and little things I could set on fire. One day, I was playing with these little things called snakes — which you light and they puff up in snakey ropes. I went home afterwards, but my father got a call from the owner of a house I was lighting them off near. My father was VERY angry and grabbed me by the neck, dragging me over to the house.
The entire yard was burned black and the owner was leaning exhaustedly on a shovel. He had stopped the fire just short of his house.
My father made me confront this man and apologize, then my father volunteered my landscaping services to the man for the entire summer. As it was only May, I had a lot of work ahead of me until September.
I never played with fire again.
I don’t know if this helps, but consequences matter...
I didn’t say the child was one. But everything gas a beginning a m iddle and an end. Better to understand where the worst end can be and take care of it.
1 discipline is essential, if your DIL won’t then your son needs to, it’s not just about fire, it’s about whether the kid grows up to be a liberal that thinks “freedom” is getting to do whatever you want no matter who else is hurt or a conservative that knows he has to respect the rights and property of others.
2 give him an outlet, campfires, bonfires, cooking fires etc., it would be very good if you could interest him in a constructive hobby that uses fire
3 try to get him interested in a career that uses fire
.357 Bullet to the HEAD!
Still not the grand parent’s job unless they have custody
re: “Teach him about fire. Teach him about the dangers and the proper uses and then let him light an appropriate fire with supervision.”
A late evening around a roaring campfire is a good education ...
Ha! I’ll testify that a little corporal punishment goes a long way. Is it “barbaric” in some way? Perhaps. But it is effective. I only needed it twice to get the message loud and clear that my parents were serious about their rules. Maybe it goes back to primitive instinct. Back to a time when mistakes were painful and possibly fatal. It is ingrained in us to avoid things that cause pain. Like hunting dangerous prey with a too short spear. Painful mistakes that if you survive them you don’t repeat. I think corporal punishment taps into that.
If you have any kin with a wood cookstove, send him to visit for a couple weeks.
Getting the stove started becomes becomes a chore quickly and the fascination with fire dissipates quickly.
Thanks to all. Despite HER objections my son watched some videos with his boy and they had a good talk.
Kids like playing with fire and other dangerous things.
They do need to be taught that such things are harmful if they get out of hand and should be handled carefully.
I think part of the problem with some children is that they are never allowed to do anything even slightly risky and so they have no concept that that can get hurt. A couple of minor burns tend to take that right out of you.
If you have a normal child that would be the way to go.
And that’s as it should be. Dad is the best instrument for dealing with boys
lock them up
You can search youtube for videos on how to build self-feeding campfires that keep going while you sleep and other tricks that might interest him.
Here is a start:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=+how+to+build+campfire
Undoubtedly the best conclusion.
Good job parenting your son, and residual good job on his raising your grandson.
Times change, as do parenting techniques, doesn’t mean the new ones are wrong.
Thanks for sharing, reaching out, and giving us the result, such that it is.
It’s a phase. We’ve all been through it.
Get off HER back,normal for for kids to light things.
I agree. It is my place to listen to my son and help find resources for him.
“Sorry it’s not your place”
And if a grandchild were playing with some other potentially lethal item, e.g., a gun, the grandparent should keep quiet because it’s not his place? It’s every adult’s “place” to step in if someone could be hurt of killed.
I agree. It is my place to listen to my son and help find resources for him.
...and to help put out the fire that had been smoldering at least 8 hours over night, 10 feet from a propane tank, 20 feet from his house and 50 feet from our house.
Unless you plan on trying to take custody it is not your place
Please don’t give me the “it takes a village....”
You’ve raised your children. You had your input.
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