Posted on 04/09/2018 1:46:13 PM PDT by Ciaphas Cain
LONDON—In response to a recent outbreak in fistfights, London mayor Sadiq Khan announced Monday a sweeping ban of hands in the city, effective immediately.
“No excuses: there is never a reason to have hands in a modern, civil society. Anyone who does will be caught, and they will feel the full force of the law,” Khan said at a press conference announcing the new policy during which he revealed that he has had his own hands surgically removed as a good-faith move to jump-start the new regulations.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Give them a little time ...
Unhand them.
If I can’t use my hands, then I fart in your general direction!
4/8/2018, 11:22:01 PM · 90 of 116
chris37 to Bigtigermike
“Isn’t the problem really human hands, Mr. Mayor?
Why not just ban human hands and be done with it?”
Okay, who stole my idear?
Satire today. Reality tomorrow
Muslims like cutting off hands.
How do you cuff them?
LOL.
Wait’ll you hear how he plans to stop rapes...
Spit attacks are on the upswing, what will he do?
I was going to make a sarcastic remark earlier when the London mayor bans knife.
I was going to say after the knife ban, they are going to ban teeth, as some people might start biting ......
Stumps me.
“4How do you cuff them?”.........
Instead of being specific, I’d use some kind of sharp object.
Guess he’s stumped...
>>Wait’ll you hear how he plans to stop rapes<<
Chastity belts and full-body burkas.
No way would he do the proper thing: ultra-bris.
Well, at least he’s not trying to unarm everyone
What about headbutts? Those could be deadly. And no one needs to walking around with a head in London.
Wait’ll you hear how he plans to stop rapes...
_____________________________
“There’s never any excuse for walking around with a.............”
And in other news: LONDON—A “potentially dangerous situation” was defused by London police Monday morning, as a toddler cutting Play-Doh with a toy plastic pocketknife was tackled to the ground by five police officers, handcuffed and taken to the police station for stern interrogation as to where she obtained that dangerous knife. The four year old told the police to put their questions where the sun don’t shine. They then took her to Ireland.
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