Posted on 08/29/2017 9:37:20 AM PDT by fungoking
Edited on 08/29/2017 10:22:52 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
HOUSTON, TX—Although Joel Osteen took flak over the weekend for closing up his church to flood victims and all but disappearing during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the megachurch pastor reportedly returned to the city on his luxury yacht “S.S. Blessed” to make amends Tuesday by tossing copies of Your Best Life Now to stranded flood survivors.
Osteen had his on-call yacht captain steer the large vessel through the flooded streets of the city, pulling up to survivors stranded on their roofs and on the roof of their cars as the prosperity gospel preacher smiled, waved, and threw out signed editions of the bestselling positive thinking book.
“Believe and declare you are coming into a shift!” Osteen yelled through a bullhorn, according to reports. “God wants His best for you! Enlarge your vision, develop a healthy self image, and choose to be happy!”
“When you think positive, excellent thoughts, you will be propelled toward greatness!” he called out to one family floating on a raft on a freeway-turned-river, whose earthly possessions had been entirely destroyed the previous day.
Osteen also paused for brief photo ops with several families, the smiling pastor briefly allowing them to board his yacht as his professional photography team got shots of the pastor together with the sobbing, distraught flood victims, though the pastor was careful to not stand too close to the mud-caked refugees.
Sources confirmed that the pastor then had his assistants help the families back into their makeshift lifeboats or tree logs on which they were floating through the city.
The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.
The gospel Osteen preaches doesn’t save anyone. I think the only good it does is for his bank account.
Matt 7:15: Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.
Osteen and his plastic wife creep me out.
It’s just that Osteen’s obviously renown reputation for fabulous wealth and assets are unprecedented and it all got captured in a little satirical humor, of which you apparently have none.
Notable that after ignoring an opportunity to come in on the front end of this disaster and help stage action, he is forced by shame to cough up on the back end his energy and space to give refuge to victims in his own city.
Pathetic.
Late.
Totally now his rehabilitation effort to save his Gold Mine.
I’m sure you can find the “I don’t like the guy” exception to Exodus 20:16 ... please point it out to me.
Thank you very much.
Not gonna use scriptures as my bludgeon. Leaving that to those who can’t answer standing straight up on their own two feet, to even the obvious, OF right and wrong, hoarding excess over desperate need, need I go on.
Stewardship of one’s charitable giving and the obvious existence of religious rackets provokes some common sense and normal observation— in.most.people., that is.
Comprende?
I see.
You don’t like the guy.
That makes it OK to bear false witness against him.
In your opinion.
Right?
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