Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I only walk about half a mile, but at least it’s something. Charlie walks about a mile and a half, every day, unless it’s raining too hard. Then he will stay in where it’s warm. He’s been doing it as long as I’ve known him - 10+ years.
Yesterday, he gave me a roll of quarters. It’s how he pays me back for all the stuff I feed him! ;o]
Anyway, he walks because he was hit by a car many years ago, and the bumper caught him at the knees. He was hospitalized for four months. Then therapy forever. He made a couple of door mats (rubber ones) while in therapy and gave me one. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on it. He’s a good guy. Never married, but not gay.
He sounds like a great example of perseverance. I walked two miles, which is three times around the block.
And he’s about 6’3” and seems to have a bottomless pit. When I feed him, I have to make sure there is a LOT of food!
I like talking to him. But like most people around here, he has an odor, and I’m pretty sensitive to those things. Darn CFIDS. So some days, I don’t get too close to him... ;o]
Sounds like Tom in 50 years.
LOL! :oO
I took a nap because I was awake at 0300. I was dreaming about my dad, but I also dreamed about water, in three different dreams. Since the water was clear and blue, I know it’s a good omen for the immediate future. :o]
Now I’m going out to sit with the peeps for a bit. In the hot wind. 92, SE at 13 mph, 18%, partly cloudy. The forecast is only for 105 today, compared to yesterdays 109. But when it gets over 100, it doesn’t really matter.
PS: Michael J Fox is 55 today.
Good for him!
In the sun it is really nice. Unfortunately it is also windy to the tune of 17mph (according to those (notso)Accu(rate)Weather folk) and thus gets a bit chilly if venturing into the shade.
I exchanged my cargopant shorts for my unilitarian BDU's..
Good heavens! I had no idea he was nearly as old as me.
He was playing teenagers in movies after I got married.
Have you considered life in the South?
I've thought about it. I don't think NicknamedSue can be talked into it.
I'd probably prefer living in the South, unless I move to the planet Venus. For some reason, Venus' Northern Hemisphere seems more natural to me.
Depends on the meaning of considered..
Back some years ago there was thought and discussion of relocating to Flor-a-duh (Jacksonville area). Would have happened if the company was willing to pay for the relocation.
But they weren’t.
You know, you can actually wash with baking soda. It’s a great exfoliant and antiseptic. The first time you use it you feel quite pink and raw, actually...good time to lotion up.
A good shake of it on a washcloth and afterwards you’ll feel like you were breaking in a new loofa. Might do something for his “ambience”.
I also like sandalwood incense. I keep it in clothes drawers to scent them, and when the odor gets a little faint, then burn them. I like scents that are in the background, not in my face.
So quickly you have found the Undead Thread! You must be sorely in need of the services we offer, which are ... oh, yes, like Dogbert, we will listen to your sad story.
The five dollar payment will be yours only if we laugh at you.
I keep my soap in my clothes drawers until I'm ready to use it. It's nice to put on a scarf that smells lemon-eucalyptus or whatever. And howya! You're welcome to be Undead as long as you're friendly!
I’m home from the swim meet with Frank and James, who were finished. The other kids have more events before it ends; DP’s with them.
Now I’m going to cut up some peaches I bought earlier and make tomorrow’s coffee.
We brought our newborn son to the pediatrician for his first checkup.
As he finished, the doctor told us, “You have a cute baby.”
Smiling, I said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.”
“No,” he replied, “just to those whose babies really are good-looking.”
“So what do you say to the others?”
“He looks just like you.”
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