Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I’m wishing it were 1500, so I could go lie down for the night. And I also wish I wasn’t a “nervous eater.” The trouble is that everything I have that I “should” eat, I don’t want.
So perhaps I need to think of other things to eat, and make a list so I can build my grocery list from that. I dunno. I’d get a lot of raw stuff I like (fruits, mostly) but I don’t have the mouth to chew them with. :o[ I really need to get to the dentist and get my mouth fixed.
Things have been really weird the last few days, and I can’t figure out why. *sigh*
What about zucchini? I bought some today. You can bake them with tomato sauce and some cheese.
I don’t think I could write my personal history.
1) I don’t have the patience.
2)It might be admissable.
Maybe you can forage and hunt.
It would also give you something to do.
I understand most creepy-crawlies are an excellent source of protein.
I’ll have to shop someplace where they sell small cans of stuff like tomato sauce and vegs, because I only want one helping. The rest I toss. Wasteful.
The wind just came up out of nowhere and is really blowing! Out of the north at 14 mph.
Wow. I’m rambling today. I’m going to quit and go to bed. I can’t seem to get my head on straight, for whatever reason.
I have journals dating from 1995 to present, if anyone wants them after I’m gone. Shopping lists, to-do lists, notes from church meetings and doctor appointments, my stream of consciousness ... a trove for some Women’s Studies graduate student.
You’re so helpful, ArGee, but I’ve gotten so squeamish in the last five or six years, that neither option sounds good in any way shape or form, high protein or not.
And I’ve forgotten most of what I know about camping out for extended periods.
I hope you have a good night. It’s about 70 here with a fresh breeze out of the north. They’re going to be freezing at the swimming pool. I told Frank and Vlad to take jackets that they can throw on as soon as they’ve dried.
I would like them, just because you wrote them, but I think you will outlive me. Or not.
My sister and I were discussing a sibling today, and whatever he has going on, we both hope it’s on his father’s side of the family and not our father’s side! We just want to get old, creaky and cranky!
I ran across a book I haven’t seen for quite a while, last week, and can hardly wait to get some red pencils so I can start marking my Scriptures again. The book is about the most quoted Scriptures. It’s fun to look them up and mark them. I just have to find where I left off...
:o])
Oh, that will be fun! I borrowed a book from a friend a few months ago, and when I told her I wanted to keep it and would pay its Alibris price (about $20), she said to just keep it and give her something she hadn’t read. I’ll have to go through my shelves for a book of similar thickness!
I keeping giving away the books I’ve read that I don’t think I’ll read again, but it seems I’m always bringing one home when I go do laundry. I just have to read them! As soon as I finish the one I’m reading on my Kindle, I’ll read the two paperbacks I borrowed.
And with that, I’m off to bed.
(Maybe if I ate yogurt several times a day for a while, I could keep losing weight. And I’m sure it would be good for a snack... I just have to go buy more... )
Captain Kirk: "I'm not sure, but I think we've just been insulted."
Bones McCoy (laconically): "I'm sure."
Aww. Look at that baby!!!!
Want want want
Spotted like a fawn.
Oh, no, Bob. You are not weird at ALL compared to the people I’m talking about.
He’s a small Bengal kitty. Jake is supposed to be “Bengal mix,” but I think he’s just a big brown tabby.
You haven't been to Port Jervis, have you?
No, it’s just a universal characteristic for certain levels of weirdness.
LoL!
Circle the Wagons, form a Kraal. Wierdos at three miles and closing.
:)
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