Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Well, good for Tom! I hope his interview next week goes well. There’s good money in that stuff.
I went out to sit with the peeps, but LuDean is on vacation, and one of the Cindy’s is at work. Charlie was there, and then Chuck showed up, but Charlie went to a meeting in the community room. He’s my eyes and ears, because I don’t have the patience to put up with endless interruptions while someone is speaking, and the endless repetitions of a sentence that people either didn’t hear or don’t understand. That will happen a lot. My tolerance for rudeness is zero.
And I’m tired. I thought my back was going to kill me yesterday, and just as I came in, it started up again, so I don’t know what’s going on with it. For sure, it makes me very tired.
Perhaps that’s why my brain saw “flagrant,” rather than fragrant? Bob’s poetry always seems to break a few rules before it’s read to the end. I like it! :o])
I figure if I don’t remember it, I don’t need to.
I’m still working on that argument with the IRS, but for everything else it’s going OK.
Early on while we were living in NYC but still had stuff in the secret location I made an offer to my family. I said they could write down everything in that secret location they wanted to keep and give me the list. I would also write a list. Then I would go to the secret location and sell or trash everything not on the list. I thought it would be a great way to reduce our stuff load. If you can’t remember you have it, you can do without it.
Nobody else liked the idea.
I like it! A meteor strike would be okay, too.
I have a bit of indigestion, perhaps from too much garlic. I’m going to type up the proposed updates to the mission statement of the Stewardship Commission (for discussion tonight, and yes, it’s as boring as it sounds), and then maybe lie down with Jake for a little while.
That’s excellent news!
I myself couldn’t work on something so small. Eyesight’s getting bad and all that.
Silly me, I thought they were organic beasts.
I think the one thing Facebook taught me is why so many people in this world only have virtual friends.
Tom wears glasses.
Sometimes I reflect upon the persons I encounter on FR, and I think, "People at least this weird could be walking around my local Walmart, and I'd never know." It reminds me to keep a hand on my purse!
Tom suggested that I do a little test to see if any of the Stewardship Commission members actually read my draft mission statement. I included, as one of our initiatives, "Engaging in armed combat with other stewardship programs within the Charlotte Diocese and beyond." Also, the Welcome Committee's functions include "paying Tom more to do the lawn."
I have a favorite mission statement for a stewardship commission. It goes something like this:
Do justice, love righteousness, and walk humbly before God.
It’s hard to imagine anyone misusing donated funds with a mission statement like that.
Sounds, um, minorly prophetic.. ;-)
And can only communicate by texting..
(Even when sitting side by side.)
LOL! That would make a good tagline, but I just changed mine, so I’m not going to use it. And of course, I probably won’t remember it. ;o]
I think that’s a great idea, ArGee! In fact, I’m a firm believer in that. Six months is plenty of time to know if you need something or not, because if you don’t look for it, or have it at hand, then you probably don’t need it.
I want to lie down but it’s too early. If I did it now, I would most likely fall asleep, and then I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.
So I’ll stay up...enjoy your nap!
Ohdang.
I see people here, and I know some go to Walmart, but thankfully, I miss seeing them because I go shopping early and they don’t even roll out of bed until 1000 or so.
And, as an aside, I wish I could find some Crocs I could afford. I don’t have anything appropriate for summer, and I’m tired of wearing my “tenny-runners.”
I played with my files today and renamed my personal history, and even edited that. So far, I have only 15 pages done but I need to go back and read it and see if I can add anything. One thing is for sure: It won’t be as colorful or as interesting as Igor’s is!
Perhaps tomorrow, I can get back into the personal history and make some progress with it.
LOL! And that’s the TROOF! THHbbbbth!
That’s funny!
Back from the lie-down. Soon I’ll have to so some food-prep things.
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