Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Are cigarettes actually still aloud in Gotham?
Well, the recipient signature looks like it was signed by a space squid.
Hi, Moosie!
I toasted your health with my tea and crumpet, this morning, as I always do when I have that combination.
10%, 76 degrees, wind from the west...wish you were here to enjoy the day!
I will say some prayers that you are able to find all the homeless that are in need of shelter.
I finally got it up and running but it didn’t import my Favorites, so I have to start all over again to add them. At least this isn’t happening around payday, like it usually does!
I think, after that scathing email I sent Dell, they didn’t dare do anything but give me something that could handle the “abuse” I could deliver! LOL!
LOL! I hope that IS true! The bestid never won that prize...they bribed him with it.
In celebration of the “new” working Dell,...
*tagline*
(((Hugs)))
The Sun has been out, but it is only just above freezing.
Here, too. I bought new food for the cats but haven’t given it to them yet.
They will be noting the delivery delay in their monthly report to HQ.
Wow. I’m SO done with winter!!! In another two weeks, the trees will begin to have leaf buds, and after that, it’s no stopping the warmth!
Stay warm, Moosie!
I’d better cut back on the coffee.... ;o]
I don’t think that’s a good likeness.
Jake likes it!
The lips are too big...
And so, she is off to bed. Another stressful day behind her.
Thanks to all of you for being my FRiends and friends. <3
Ummmmm...wut?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3395963/posts
That’s what you were doing in the basement?
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