Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Good morning, Gefn!
I hope you’re feeling better today!
*hug*
Yow! What’s up?
If it were me I would upgrade now before doing anything you might not want to lose.
I don’t know how to access Win 10 to download it...
My brain is fried after trying to finish up these tax returns.
They say our high will be 29 today. Saturday, when we go to look for homeless it’s forecast to be 18. The low Saturday will be 2. Windchills could go down to 15 below.
I hope we don’t miss anyone on Saturday. If we do they’ll probably die.
There should be a little window flag icon bottom right near the clock. Click that. It will give the distructions.
Thanks! <3
It doesn’t say anything about Windows10.
*sigh*
I just Binged it, so it’s in the process of downloading now. I should have done it first thing. My bad.
I hope you find everyone!
Jake came and sat on the newspaper while I was eating lunch. I may never find out why financial markets are in chaos, because he wouldn’t let me turn the page. Major claws on that kitteh.
He doesn’t know it, unless he can read, but I bought them new food. I hope it turns out to be something they like.
The return of the dell!
Hi Face.
Hi Gefn.
Great to see you. :)
Good day to you.
Has been one of those weeks, this week.
Trust all is ship shape and Bristol fashion.
The blister rations have been distributed, and the shapes are shipped.
Prehaps Dell was afraid you’d do the upgrade and fry their computer again so they disabled it?
Considering Microsquish is already considering stopping support on anything else, that would be a bad plan.
It’s like that movie, “The Guardian.” We aren’t motivated by how many we find, but by how many we miss.
I’m aiming for cigarette-boat shape myself.
But, to each his own.
In other news, 6,000,000 refugees of various wars who have been flooding Europe recently showed up on the doorstep of the Nobel Foundation to ask that they take Obama’s peace prize back.
It’s true. Tell all your Democrat friends. Tell them it’s not necessary to look it up.
Good to hear. :)
Where did you ship the shapes to? Where do we need to seal off?
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