Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
The Bigelows would be OK if my sister hadn’t married one. She’s a flaming lib and more arrogant than Obama (if that’s possible).
I don’t think they have anything to do with tea, though.
You ventured in there! Wow.
Check you still have all expected limbs, they will steal anything.
Cot being a bed ,with ‘carry’ attached to it is used to denote a portable baby’s crib. The tie down straps suddenly have a fresh appeal. :)
Of course, I’m fearless in such matters.
Carry cots (UK) = Baby Buckets (USA)....
Sooooo, the UK market is wide open for my idea?
;>)
A lot of people don’t like Constant Comment, but it was the first tea I ever drank when I left home. My mother always drank some tea called, “orange pekoe and pekoe cut black” tea, but I don’t know it it’s even in existence, any more. I can remember the smell, though.
Camping beds with emergency conversion to a stretcher....
Set up shop in the west end , colour them white and silver , call them iSleep.
You’ll have hipsters queuing around the block. :)
Constant Comment has changed over the years. It was much better back in the ‘60s. The orange, clove, and cinnamon were more pronounced back then and the tea was stronger,. When you saw/felt the teabag, you could feel the ‘chunks’ of orange peel and spices in it. Now it’s all homogenized, pasteurized, emulsified, granulated, and standardized.. To get the same equivalent you need two or three teabags.. ;-)
My Mother drank it back when I was younger than 34. That’s how I know these things. (Because I asked her what those lumps in the teabag were. Today’s version has no palpable lumps.. ;-)
Today’s trivia - where is the only tea plantation in the United States located?
Orange Pekoe and Pekoe are names of tea grades. Has to do with the location of the leaf on the plant. Closer to the tip and smaller leaves are higher rated.
(* Disclaimer: No, I haven't tried this recipe. But it sounds right. ;-)
I must agree with all of that statement. Yep. You’re right on all of it!
I wouldn’t even hazard a guess about the U.S tea plantation.
I’m sorry my mother didn’t live long enough to tell me all that stuff!
But she really loved her tea!
None of our Offspring has yet killed any other.
But have they drawn blood... ?
;-)
Oh, sure.
KEWL! Thanks!
Good.
They’re normal then.
:-)
Always willing to assist in the learning of mostly useless trivial facts.. ;-)
By the way, did you know that black tea is fermented?
(Well, technically it is “oxidized” green tea but somewhere along the line it got classed as fermented. But it’s not really since fermentation is a different chemical process. The descriptive still holds though.)
Well, we know he enjoyed 3 moments of those 8 years!
He does love his puppies though, and is a good dad.
There is so much cuteness in this house right now, lol. 4 weeks to go, assuming they sell. Only one is sold so far.....
I love tidbits for my Department of Useless Information!
And no, I didn’t realize that black tea is fermented, but it would seem to me that “something” would have to change the color from green to black.
If I lived closer, I would love to have one of Rush’s puppies for a companion. It would be awesome!!!
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