ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[NoCmpromiz]

;-)

That’s why I said if you were or are from NJ you’d get it. Otherwise a mental picture is necessary. ;-)

[NoCmpromiz]

And on another note, it is 24° with winds at 21mph gusting to 36.

The sun is shining which makes the window kitties happy but it is to waywicked to work outdoors and I have some outdoor things that must be done before the projected Nor'Easter, er, solidified glowbull warmthing hits Friday-Saturday..

The outdoor project is such that when started must be completed and wind (of any flavor whether cold or summery) is one factor that makes it improbable for today.

Rats.

[Covenantor]

After a break of about six years, in 1992 revisited the Clam Broth House about the time Hoboken was “discovered” by the then hipsters, and it was horrible. Couldn’t believe how badly it had declined. Flat out inedible. Was embarassed at having brought friends from Manhattan.

[Monkey Face]

I hope you ordered it in Electric Blue with lots of chrome and all the bells and whistles!!

[Monkey Face]

See? My desert roots are showing! LOL!

[Tax-chick]

DP and I have talked about retiring to a college town. We liked living in Norman, Oklahoma. He could fix students’ networking problems, while I taught them to write essays.

[ArGee]

Of course. I used it to cover my credit line at the Wynn.

[ArGee]

Apparently the only thing you can teach students these days is how to be micro-aggrieved.

[Tax-chick]

I could be microaggrieved if there was money in it. I’ve learned all about a Tiny State of Offense from Kathleen.

[NoCmpromiz]

Was there often in the '70s and '80s. Like you I revisited it in the '90s and was severely disappointed.

According to that vast storehouse of the knowledge of the entire world (aka Wikipedia) it closed in 2003.

"The Clam Broth House (1899-2004), was a landmark Hoboken restaurant that operated for over a century. The Clam Broth House opened in 1899. The restaurant attracted attention with several giant hand-shaped signs. There were two giant hand-shaped signs, one hanging on the outside of the Clam Broth House that pointed downward towards the entrance, and one on a neighboring building (which is the only sign still there today). In addition, there was a third, smaller hand-shaped sign.

In 2004, the Clam Broth House building was condemned by city officials because of structural failures caused by construction workers, and destroyed. There were cracks and bulges in the building's facade prior to the building's destruction, and the facade also buckled in May 2003, causing it to be shut down.

The Clam Broth House reopened in 2010, but was bought in 2012 by another restaurant, Biggie's Clam Bar."

[Darksheare]

Had a murderous washing machine hop across the laundry room at me one fine day.

[Covenantor]

Their biggest and best boast was that Frank Sinatra favored his hometown clam joint.

[Covenantor]

They get that way. Humming along contently until suddenly they go bonkers, like totally unbalanced or something, jumping up and down.

Just jealous of the dryer having all the fun.

[ArGee]

Speaking of the ‘70s and ‘80s.

RIP Glen Frey. Take it easy.

[Broker]

Yup.. Moved out of Hoboken for Georgia.

[Darksheare]

Yes, this one went completely mad.
Ravening for flesh, slobbering everywhere.
I had to take refuge on the slop sink as it rammed impotently against the cupboards below in rage.

[A CA Guy]

Get the unlimited plan now.

[Monkey Face]

I’m trying to head for bed. I’m not sure what tomorrow may bring, but I’m hoping it isn’t more houses with grass for carpets!

And I will try to forget the non-itchy things that are pleagueing me.

Nite, everyone! See you on the Flip Side!

[Tax-chick]

Hope you have a good night.

[moose07]

When you’re not looking.....
I guess mine misread the instruction manual. :)