Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
we don’t have basement. Fred good name.
I don’t have a basement, either.
“or something will eat him.”
Dun, an, an, ah!
We are leaning towards saving Fred.
I should write a children’s book about it.
There have been successful books with a thinner premise.
Off to Kathleen’s bath!
The two 'authored' by BHO come to mind.
The thinner premise part.
Don't really know or care about the 'successful' part.. ;-)
Many were sold.
On another note, here we put any and all captured creatures with eight appendages in the basement.. (With the exclusion of those generally known in the vernacular as "ticks".. they get to visit the inground swim club..)
And, from the marginal thinking department, speaking of Fred.. ;-)
We like rocks, too. (I don’t think Fred is that old, though.)
It’s a balmy 32 here, and I’m headed off to church to work on Pinewood Derby cars with several young boys and Tom, who has been bribed to come because he knows how to use the tools.
Nothing is twenty-three billion years old, not even Helen Thomas.
Fred would be unlikely to be even ten billion years old. On this planet, the oldest rocks you can find are about four billion years old.
wibbly wobbly timey travelly accident.
And a shiv.
Ah..
You know of the place then... ;-)
Yeah, I spent a week there one afternoon.
Recognize the road, Bloomfield Avenue, the longest road in the USA...New Jersey joke....
Cute kitteh! I LOL’d!
Strange dreams last night. I was taking a “short-cut” from Point A to Point B (I don’t recall where either were) but the short-cut involved going into someone’s house. The owner of the house had just planted grass in all the rooms, and I could see that they were freshly watered and raked. I had no idea where to walk, but somehow, I was talking to his wife and she said that if I were still there when she got back from where she was going, I could help her with whatever she was working on. She was dressed up like she was going to church. And he used a ladder to leave the house. eh.
REALLY strange! Dang!
I’m out of Ibuprofin, as I forgot to get it when I was shopping last week. Also, I’m out of yogurt. Both are needed. The older I get, the easier it is to understand my mother. She said she hated to eat because a few hours later, you had to eat again and it was a waste of time. ;o]
Clever, and though I have no idea what that means, I know crows like shiny things.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.