ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Monkey Face]

Yes, and they are very busy! ;o]

[Monkey Face]

W00t!

[Tax-chick]

Afternoon, Bob.

[fanfan]

Presenting our new little family.

(pardon the pee marks; they're not yet house trained.)

[Darksheare]

Some of those puppies look like somebody snuck cat speckle coat genetics into them.
(Ask dog if she was consorting with felines of ill repute!)
/ kidding.

[Springman]

Have to make sure to show Mrs. Springman when I get home from work.

Good to see you fanfan.

[SunkenCiv]

Awwwwww...

[fanfan]

It might have been sink cat.

[Darksheare]

Lol, “don’t worry doggy, this make doggy kidses looks great!”

[Tax-chick]

Do the spotty ones look like their father?

[fanfan]

Good to see you too Springman! Say Hello to Mrs. Springman for me. :-)

[fanfan]

Yup. Maximum cuteness. Cuteness is a baby’s best weapon.

[SunkenCiv]

well, except for werewolves, probably. ;’)

[Darksheare]

Undeaders, infool7 went and broke themself.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3384594/posts

Prayer request at above thread.

[moose07]

Beautiful, hours of fun there.
Those speckled coats are gorgeous.

:)

[fanfan]

Well, them too, but it’s basically a code word among restaurant staff for people who don’t tip.

[fanfan]

True.

[fanfan]

There are some lucky future owners out there who won’t know what hit them. :-)

Have a good night everyone. I’m off to bed.

[Darksheare]

Everyone stop by infool7’s thread and lend moral support please.

[Tax-chick]

Today's itty bitty kittehs were rescued, fostered, and adopted in Southern California. It doesn't say who got to keep the plush tiger.