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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadnt rolled itself outside. It certainly hadnt killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadnt even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and its the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well Im off to check on my spoons. I hear theyre making people fat.
(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; insanity; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: BenLurkin
101
posted on
03/15/2013 8:13:14 AM PDT
by
P.O.E.
(Pray for America)
To: SkyDancer
102
posted on
03/15/2013 8:14:27 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: r-q-tek86
103
posted on
03/15/2013 8:14:49 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: N. Theknow
104
posted on
03/15/2013 8:15:06 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: ArGee
105
posted on
03/15/2013 8:15:34 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: P.O.E.
106
posted on
03/15/2013 8:16:27 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
107
posted on
03/15/2013 8:17:21 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: ArGee
Thanks, man. And here's a little something to help you through the holiday week-end...
108
posted on
03/15/2013 8:17:35 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: r-q-tek86
109
posted on
03/15/2013 8:19:05 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: ArGee
Wherever you find four Irishmen, you’ll find a fifth.
110
posted on
03/15/2013 8:22:44 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
To: MissTed
You know how the Chinese name their children?
They drop a fork on the floor.
111
posted on
03/15/2013 8:23:04 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: r-q-tek86
i used to have two.. the one in that pic was claimed by my daughter.
112
posted on
03/15/2013 8:23:18 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
To: ArGee
Alright people I have Irish lineage and I find these Irish jokes -
pretty dagone funny because I was born in America, so f*** it.
113
posted on
03/15/2013 8:23:46 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: N. Theknow
114
posted on
03/15/2013 8:24:17 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: Lucky9teen
Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good!" said the redneck.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked the friend.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.
"No," his friend replied.
"You're queer, ain't ya?"
115
posted on
03/15/2013 8:24:42 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: absolootezer0
Funny how it fits her too.
116
posted on
03/15/2013 8:25:11 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: envisio
Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself it’s probably because you can’t find the mirror.
117
posted on
03/15/2013 8:25:17 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: BenLurkin
118
posted on
03/15/2013 8:26:59 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: Lucky9teen
“or smells funny.”
Sounds like me after a big bowl of chili. Although my wife can attest to the fact the the smell is definately NOT funny.
119
posted on
03/15/2013 8:27:10 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
To: Arrowhead1952
I laughed even harder this time!
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