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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen



Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.

(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)








TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; insanity; ofst; silliness
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Today's Non Compos Mentis Award Winner:

2013-03-12-humor-9

"Tax cuts are spending. Tax expenditures, they are called. Subsidies for big oil, subsidies to send jobs overseas, breaks to send jobs overseas, breaks for corporate jets. They are called tax expenditures. Spending money on tax breaks."
--House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

1 posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Yaay! 1!


2 posted on 03/15/2013 5:43:24 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
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To: Cyber Liberty

Top VI


3 posted on 03/15/2013 5:44:08 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...


TIME TO BLESS THIS

PARTY OF


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

 

4 posted on 03/15/2013 5:47:10 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

“A pen in the hand of this president is far more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens.”


5 posted on 03/15/2013 5:49:10 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (A pen in the hand of 0 bummer more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million citizens.)
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To: Lucky9teen

6 posted on 03/15/2013 5:49:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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And 30 years ago IBM predicted a paperless world !!!

Picture is worth a thousand words??????

http://vimeo.com/61275290


7 posted on 03/15/2013 5:49:48 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (A pen in the hand of 0 bummer more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million citizens.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Are we talking about guns or kids?

I have several of each.

They won’t do a thing unless I make them do it.

Lazy Lazy I tell you what


8 posted on 03/15/2013 5:51:33 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: Arrowhead1952
Talk about silliness:


FBI: You Might be a Terrorist if You Breathe..!

The FBI published 25 pamphlets and distributed them to people who work in the general public to give them information on how to spot a terrorist based on a number of “suspicious behavior” indicators. People at construction sites, electronic stores, beauty salons, airports and other places were advised on what kind of behavior is consistent with domestic terrorism. Here are some of their recommendations:

* Beauty salons and drug stores are told to watch out for customers who don’t drive themselves but are dropped off and picked up by someone else. (If you’re elderly and need a ride, you might be a terrorist.)

* Gas station attendants are told to look out for customers who put gas in gas cans. (If you run out of gas, you might be a terrorist.)

* Construction sites are advised to consider glued locks as evidence of terrorism. (Definitely not a prank pulled by unruly teenagers.)

* Dive boat shops are told to look out for customers who rent a boat for an “extended amount of time.” (If you have too much fun on your rented boat, you might be a terrorist.)

* Electronics stores are advised to look out for those who purchase an assortment of electronic supplies. (If you frequent Radio Shack or Fry’s, you might be a terrorist.)

* Banks should be on the lookout for customers who deposit multiple checks or money orders. (If you have more than one stream of income, you might be a terrorist.)

* Hobby shops are told to keep an eye out for those who have an “unusual” interest in remote-controlled airplanes. (If you’re a hobbyist, you might be a terrorist.)

* Home improvement stores are told to watch out for customers buying lots of watches or kitchen timers. (If you’re a chef, you might be a terrorist.)

* They’re also advised to be on the lookout for people buying pipe, particularly in short lengths, or camouflaged clothing. (If you’re a plumber or someone who lives in the South, you might be a terrorist.)

* Hotels and Motels are told to look out for guests who have lots of luggage and for those who don’t want cleaning service. (If you’re a woman who values her privacy, you might be a terrorist.)

* Internet cafes are told to watch out for patrons who have more than one cell phone or who are seen switching out their SIM cards. (If you have a business phone and a personal phone, you might be a terrorist.)

* Passengers and drivers on mass transportation are told to look out for people who have cameras, are drawing pictures or writing things down. (If you write down your grocery list while you’re on the bus, you might be a terrorist.)

* Military surplus stores are told to look out for those who purchase a lot of meals ready-to-eat (MRE). (If you’re planning a camping trip, you might be a terrorist.)

* Rental truck facilities are told to look out for customers who ask about how big a particular truck is or how much fuel it holds. (If you have to move a lot of stuff to your new house, you might be a terrorist.)

* The general public is advised to be suspect of anyone who seems to be overdressed for the weather (if you’re cold, you’re probably hiding something under your coat) or anyone who is critical of U.S. foreign policy. (If you disagree with the current administration, that means that you want to blow up government buildings and airplanes.)

In most of the pamphlets, people were advised to be suspect of anyone who pays with cash; has missing fingers or hands; changes his appearance by shaving his beard, dying his hair or changing his style of clothing; makes comments about “radical theology”; or smells funny.

It would have been a lot easier and a lot cheaper to just say to be suspect of anyone who is human and not wearing a government uniform.

Read more: http://godfatherpolitics.com/9881/fbi-you-might-be-a-terrorist-if-you-breathe/#ixzz2NXkg56GT
9 posted on 03/15/2013 5:54:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!! Friday!!!


10 posted on 03/15/2013 5:54:43 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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Comment #11 Removed by Moderator

To: Old Sarge

12 posted on 03/15/2013 5:59:51 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

News for Pelosi:

The federal tax policy and onorous regulations are designed to send jobs overseas. She has drunk her own pi$$ so much she actually believes herself.


13 posted on 03/15/2013 5:59:56 AM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is July 4th, Democrats believe every day is April 15th.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Please remove me from your ping list. Thanks!


14 posted on 03/15/2013 6:00:02 AM PDT by TomServo
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To: Lucky9teen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVbfYAHI1ZM .Official Government Statement on Mermaids .


15 posted on 03/15/2013 6:00:19 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: envisio

niether will respect a man who drinks beer flavoured water.


16 posted on 03/15/2013 6:09:57 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
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To: Old Sarge

That’s quite a sneeze she has. She should probably put on more clothes; she’s catching a cold.


17 posted on 03/15/2013 6:12:01 AM PDT by dangus
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To: Old Sarge

Top one shows up as a red X. The bottom one!!! She looks topless!!! I was teaching a young lady to shoot. She was a lefty and I told her to button her shirt all the way up. She said she was OK. Third shell casing landed between her boobs. Her top and bra were off in seconds.


18 posted on 03/15/2013 6:12:27 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (A pen in the hand of 0 bummer more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million citizens.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Free Republic - Plastics
19 posted on 03/15/2013 6:15:10 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper (http://userstyles.org/users/180132)
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To: absolootezer0

Hey watch it, Jack. Don’t start in on my domestic beer. We’ve made alot of good memories together.

At least I don’t choke on a piece of tree bark when I drink it.


20 posted on 03/15/2013 6:16:09 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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