"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good!" said the redneck.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked the friend.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.
"No," his friend replied.
"You're queer, ain't ya?"
ME: How would you like to bet me $5 that you're not here?
HIM: You want to bet me $5 that I'm not here?
ME: That's right.
HIM: That's the easiest $5 I'll ever make. You're on.
ME: OK. Now, when we prove something we have to use logic, so I'm going to prove you're not here by logic, OK?
HIM: OK.
ME: OK, now you're not in Juneau, Alaska, right?
HIM: No. I'm not in Juneau, Alaska. I'm right here.
ME: Bear with me on this. And you're not in Lincoln, Nebraska, right?
HIM: No, I'm not in Lincoln, Nebraska.
ME: And you're not in Tokyo, Japan, right?
HIM: Right!
ME: So, if you're not in Juneau, Alaska, Lincoln, Nebraska, or Tokyo, Japan, you must be somewhere else, right?
HIM: Right.
ME: And if you're somewhere else, you're not here.
Moral, English is not logical.