Posted on 08/13/2009 9:40:05 AM PDT by nickcarraway
Researchers have debated for years whether men or women are likelier to engage in “mate poaching.” Some surveys indicated that men had a stronger tendency to go after other people’s partners, but was that just because men were more likely to admit engaging in this behavior? Now there’s experimental evidence that single women are particularly drawn to other people’s partners, according to a report in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology by two social psychologists, Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University.
Noting that single women often complain that “all the good men are taken,” the psychologists wondered if “this perception is really based on the fact that taken men are perceived as good.” To investigate, the researchers quizzed male and female undergraduates — some involved in romantic relationships, some unattached — about their ideal romantic partner.
Next, each of the experimental subjects was told that he or she had been matched by a computer with a like-minded partner, and each was shown a photo of an attractive person of the opposite sex. (All the women saw the same photo, as did all the men.)Half of the subjects were told that their match was already romantically involved with someone else, while the other half were told that their match was unattached. Then the subjects were all asked how interested they were in their match.
To the men in the experiment, and to the women who were already in relationships, it didn’t make a significant difference whether their match was single or attached. But single women showed a distinct preference for mate poaching. When the man was described as unattached, 59 percent of the single women were interested in pursuing him. When that same man was described as being in a committed relationship, 90percent were interested. The researchers write:
(Excerpt) Read more at tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com ...
I’m a nice looking guy and when I was single, I could not buy a date. At one point I was tempted to pay for an escort to go to a function but decided against it.
I worked a lot and spent a lot of time shooting and golfing on weekends so I managed to stay busy.
After I got engaged, I had to call the cops on one woman who was stalking me at my fiance’s house (a friend of a friend that all but ignored me before that) and another kept tabs on me by popping into work or going to my favorite deli at lunch (which just so happens to be about 45 minutes from her job) and one I worked with wrote me a long letter about her feelings of displeasure towards my wife right after she quit.
If you can figure this out, let me know because I have two little girls now and i don’t want to see them do this.
Ok, as a single woman, I’ll explain this:
First, says my very Catholic mother, a man is not taken until the wedding ring is on his finger, and I agree with that. Once a man is married, he’s totally off limits, but if a man is just in a relationship with someone, and I’m interested in him, that relationship is not a deterrent to getting to know him (meaning: NOTHING physical, no hugging, no kissing, just talking to someone), because there is no indicia of permanence. It’s just a relationship, and relationships break up - often because people find someone else whom they think is better suited to them. So I’d talk to the guy, get to know him, etc. and then he gets to make his own decision - stay in the relationship he’s in because it’s working out or not.
Second, it’s an indication that a man is not a total horndog. He’s not yet really taken, but he’s interested in something stable and perhaps lasting. And that’s attractive to nearly all women and, from what I can tell from my skewed NYC perspective, not very attractive to a whole lot of men.
The study was all done on single people - the men were NOT married.
I look at it more as why it’s easier to get hired when you already have a job, than when you are out of a job.
Yes, but the behavior is the same, at least in my experience. Others may differ.
But what are you “ruining” when you pursue a single man? Like I said, relationship isn’t marriage. One’s considered permanent, the other is temporary.
I hate tats. Besides, a tat is permanent, marriage isn't.
How did you stay with a socialist for 5 years? I can’t imagine what that would have been like.
“How did you stay with a socialist for 5 years? I can’t imagine what that would have been like.”
I’d guess it was pretty taxing.
Women generally have a hard time thinking for themselves, in as far as choosing a man.
You might consider wearing a wedding ring on a necklace and putting it on your finger during certain social occasions.
Alternately, you could just put the wedding ring on your key chain so that you always have it with you.
Does your wife know you feel this way?
The really bad part is I had to allow space on my bookshelf for noam chomsky books. I got to hear how wonderful fdr was and the constant term “social safety net” policies quite often. She is a big believer in the 2nd Amdendment, though. I just could never get her to buy in on the other truth.
Not Lorena Bobbitt.
I just refused to go out with a guy who quoted Noam Chomsky to me on the phone. I guess I saved myself the trouble you went through. :-)
What kind of douchebag would quote noam chumsky over the phone?
I was the same way
My wife and I have titanium wedding rings. They are so light I hardly know it is on my finger. I just hope I never have a problem with my finger I would never be able to cut it off. Haha
....constant term “social safety net” policies ...
Which have now evolved into permanent entitlement hammocks policies...
Damn you! Damn you to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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