But what are you “ruining” when you pursue a single man? Like I said, relationship isn’t marriage. One’s considered permanent, the other is temporary.
“One’s considered permanent, the other is temporary”
I tend to disagree here.
One is certainly permanent; or at least that is the way it is supposed to be.
The other is not necessarily temporary at all. Rather that is your perception of the matter. Within that relationship there may be the goal of moving toward permanence, though simply not fully arrived just yet. Many couples date with the intent of finding the permanent mate and to that end do not view dating as temporary, rather the preface to permanence. Granted, often, after dating for a period of time, one, or both realize that a permanent relationship is not ideal and so they break it off.
For me, I date with a purpose.
Certainly to enjoy the time with one I’m attacted to, but also to find the one with whom I can settle down. In that, I don’t go into any relationship viewing it as temporary. Rather, I view it as an opportunity to explore permanence.
...and to enjoy the time spent with the one I’m dating. Obviously.
I’m talking specifically about marriages and drawing an analogy to the study about “couples.” In either case the specific behavior is still about horning in on someone else’s relationship. It’s not that complicated. And I would disagree that all “relationships” are impermanent. I know many lifelong unmarried couples who are very much committed, short of a state license. So just because someone isn’t “married” doesn’t mean a neurotic interloper wouldn’t be attempting to ruin what for all intents and purposes is a “marriage,” whether sanctioned by the state or not.