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Grieving wife sliced off willy
The Sun ^
| 09/12/2006
| The Sun Staff
Posted on 09/15/2006 12:10:56 PM PDT by BJClinton
A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.
Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.
But she was spotted by a nurse and arrested in Stuttgart, Germany. She is accused of mutilation.
Uta was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years.
She told police: “It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure.
“I wanted to pickle it for eternity — he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.”
TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bonerbegone; germanyorflorida; peen; sausagemitkraut; slickwilly; strumunddrang
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To: Irish_Thatcherite
Ah... I had a different slant on lamination:
C'mon, you never heard of a "Woody" ??
To: llevrok
I've been in a pickle...but never had one in me. This reminds me of the standard synopsis of classic movies:
1. Boy meets girl
2. Girl gets boy into pickle
3. Boy gets pickle into girl!
Cheers!
To: longshadow; VadeRetro; balrog666; Senator Bedfellow; RadioAstronomer; js1138; whattajoke; Shryke; ..
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"chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital" Ping List
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63
posted on
09/15/2006 6:36:46 PM PDT
by
PatrickHenry
(Where are the anachronistic fossils? Where are the moderate creationists?)
To: right wing
Hey, I bet this woman wishes she had heard of it!
64
posted on
09/15/2006 7:39:10 PM PDT
by
stands2reason
(ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
To: grey_whiskers
65
posted on
09/15/2006 7:39:37 PM PDT
by
stands2reason
(ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
To: BJClinton
What an odd sort of complement
66
posted on
09/15/2006 7:42:19 PM PDT
by
muir_redwoods
(Free Sirhan Sirhan, after all, the bastard who killed Mary Jo Kopechne is walking around free)
To: TheMole
You are probably the only person, besides me, that admits to listening to Loveline on the FR. Damn I miss Adam and D.A.G.!
67
posted on
09/15/2006 8:49:16 PM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: Smedley
Nor any shorter ... they should have made her a latex copy for 'handling' and allowed her to keep the original in a pickle jar. Stuffy Deutschlanders.
68
posted on
09/15/2006 8:53:14 PM PDT
by
MHGinTN
(If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
To: PatrickHenry
Well, there's a love story. Sometimes your duties just don't end when you're dead.
69
posted on
09/15/2006 9:37:15 PM PDT
by
VadeRetro
(Liberalism is a cancer on society. Creationism is a cancer on conservatism.)
To: BJClinton
Spaghetti and Pete's Balls?
70
posted on
09/15/2006 10:17:02 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(updated my FR profile on Saturday, September 16, 2006. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
To: Berosus
71
posted on
09/15/2006 10:17:52 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(updated my FR profile on Saturday, September 16, 2006. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
To: PBRSTREETGANG
Instead of a foreskin, a fifteen- or sixteen skin...
72
posted on
09/15/2006 10:25:51 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(updated my FR profile on Saturday, September 16, 2006. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
To: cjshapi
I fear I shall suffer the same fate once I shuffle off this mortal coil...
73
posted on
09/16/2006 4:06:58 AM PDT
by
Junior
(Identical fecal matter, alternate diurnal period)
To: SunkenCiv
It's time for The Weenie Whacker song!
(Sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight")
In the bedroom...the quiet bedroom
The Bobbitt sleeps tonight...
In the kitchen...the downstairs kitchen
Loraina grabs her knife...
(chorus)
Weenie wacker weenie wacker
Weenie wacker weenie wacker
Slashed his pee pee...his tiny pee pee
It left a nasty scar
Stuck his rocket into her pocket
And drove off in the car...
(repeat chorus)
Out the window...the Nissan window
She threw his shuttlecock
Then the cops came and found the unit
And outlined it with chalk...
(repeat chorus until sent to your room)
In the cooler...the Playmate cooler
They packed it up real tight
the doctor patched it...and reattached it
It still don't work quite right...
(repeat chorus until spanked)
Source: http://www.thebigshow.com/picsnsuch/archive/jbbsongbook/wackrsong.html
74
posted on
09/16/2006 4:31:34 AM PDT
by
Berosus
("There is no beauty like Jerusalem, no wealth like Rome, no depravity like Arabia."--the Talmud)
To: Slings and Arrows
I'm thinking bronzed, like the baby shoes.
To: grey_whiskers
I vaguely recall the term....
76
posted on
09/16/2006 7:22:48 AM PDT
by
Irish_Thatcherite
(A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!|What if I lecture Americans about America?)
To: mother22wife21
I'm thinking bronzed, like the baby shoes. 
77
posted on
09/16/2006 7:38:17 AM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
("I've never seen so many testicles in my life.")
To: stands2reason
78
posted on
09/16/2006 7:47:18 AM PDT
by
Irish_Thatcherite
(A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!|What if I lecture Americans about America?)
To: Berosus
Wi-mo-weh certainly disappointed in you, young man. ;')
79
posted on
09/16/2006 8:56:07 AM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(updated my FR profile on Saturday, September 16, 2006. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
To: Slings and Arrows
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