Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Business, Advertising, and The Boss

Intriguing.com ^ | August 4, 2006 | Sully777

[sully777]

Adrian Wapcaplet (W): Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang!
Mr. Simpson (S): Thank you.
Mr. Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet...
Simpson: how'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it?
S: No.
W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.
S: String.
W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*.
S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it...
W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there.
S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
S: What?
W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"
S: For what?
W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
S: Such as?
W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...
S: Destroying household pests?! How?
W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
S: Well *surely*!....
W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!" (Click Source-link for conclusion )

[CJ Wolf]

[Pyro7480]

LOL! People have WAY too much time on their hands!

[Pyro7480]

LOL! People have WAY too much time on their hands!

[The_Victor]

[MotleyGirl70]

Bad, but funny adversiting...

[Sax]

Get your motor runnin'

Head out for the highway

Looking for adventure

In whatever comes your way...

[Riddick]

Boss

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".
"Why, does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and

is told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?"

To which the owner replies, "To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!"

[fredhead]

[absolootezer0]

top 50!

[fredhead]

I own this page!!!

[ArGee]

Good morning. What's the latest on the bombing in Beruit?

Bombing in Beruit? This is the Official Friday Silliness Thread!

Oh, I see. So do you have the scoop on Hezbollah staging a building collapse and blaming it on the IDF?

Look, I know that sounds silly, but it isn't silly. It's real and, therefore, quite sad. This is the Official Friday Silliness Thread. We don't do the war in Lebanon.

So sorry. Well, do you have the vote total on the minimum wage-death tax bill in the Senate?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! Look, my friend, I know the Senate seems silly, especially when Ted Kennedy and Barbara Boxer speak, but it's not silly. It's CURRENT EVENTS. This is the Official Friday Silliness Thread. We do SILL-EEE NESS, not CURR-RENT EEE-VENTS. Capice?

I see. So the latest anti-semitic rantings of the President of Iran?

Not silly!

Mel Gibson's DUI arrest?

Not silly!

A baseball team offering a Britteny Spears Child Safety Day?

Now you're making things up.

Not so, I saw that on Drudge this morning.

I say, that should be silly. Are you sure that one's real?

Quite sure.

I'm not sure I know the difference between reality and silliness, then, except for the bombing in Lebanon. When people die, it's not silly.

I think I understand. So is it true that Al Gore and John Kerry are planning to run for President again?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I give UP.

Shalom.

[CJ Wolf]

[CJ Wolf]

[fredhead]

Which is silliness?

[EX52D]

Happy Friday! :)

[fredhead]

Friday...the day to get fried

[EX52D]

I'll get the shot glasses...:)

[Lost Dutchman]

It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'.

Ever thought of going into advertising?

[Xenalyte]

That video was too funny, and it went a ways toward restoring my faith in music videos.

Plus, Beavis and Butt-Head watching it was hilarious, and Beavis cannot say "Nirvana" to save his life.