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Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Business, Advertising, and The Boss
Intriguing.com ^
| August 4, 2006
| Sully777
Posted on 08/04/2006 1:08:59 AM PDT by sully777
Adrian Wapcaplet (W): Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang!
Mr. Simpson (S): Thank you.
Mr. Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet...
Simpson: how'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it?
S: No.
W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.
S: String.
W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*.
S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it...
W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there.
S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
S: What?
W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"
S: For what?
W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
S: Such as?
W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...
S: Destroying household pests?! How?
W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
S: Well *surely*!....
W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!" (Click Source-link for conclusion )
TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Education; Gardening; Hobbies; Humor; Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; Outdoors; Pets/Animals; Society; TV/Movies; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 247365; ads; advertising; business; dancingforjoy; friday; mentos; ofst247; silly; woowoo; working4theweekend
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To: sully777
Sold for $52.00 can you beleive it?
161
posted on
08/04/2006 12:43:03 PM PDT
by
VastRWCon
(From the bumper on his jeep to the shoes on his feet.)
To: ArGee
A hunter comes across a dead bull elephant with a pygmy standing on it.
"How did you kill that elephant?" he asks.
"With my club."
"Good grief! How big is your club?"
Oh ... we have about forty members."
162
posted on
08/04/2006 12:46:10 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
("The entire remedy is with the people." - W. H. Harrison)
To: amxfan2002
Vacation time again. Have a good one. Will be back in a week. Keep the silliness going.
163
posted on
08/04/2006 12:47:23 PM PDT
by
JJR RNCH
(Your mother doesn't work here!! Clean up after YOURSELF.)
To: diamond6
164
posted on
08/04/2006 12:47:27 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't.)
To: BenLurkin
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Here come the elephants.
What did Jane say?
Here come the plumbs. She's colorblind.
Shalom.
165
posted on
08/04/2006 12:48:58 PM PDT
by
ArGee
(The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
To: nuke rocketeer
166
posted on
08/04/2006 1:06:07 PM PDT
by
TASMANIANRED
(The Internet is the samizdat of liberty..)
To: TASMANIANRED
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good she was very, very good.
But when she was bad she was better.
Shalom.
167
posted on
08/04/2006 1:10:48 PM PDT
by
ArGee
(The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
To: ArGee
That would be me...
Girl with the curl.
168
posted on
08/04/2006 1:48:39 PM PDT
by
TASMANIANRED
(The Internet is the samizdat of liberty..)
To: martin_fierro; BJClinton; Millee
What in the world happened to everyone?
169
posted on
08/04/2006 2:06:59 PM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: martin_fierro
Happy Birthday Martin...
Save the martini for Martin and go make him a cake ...DAMN YOU!
170
posted on
08/04/2006 2:25:40 PM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: sully777; Liberty Valance
To: nuke rocketeer
WTH?
172
posted on
08/04/2006 2:43:59 PM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: martin_fierro; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; trussell; najida; Millee; Auntbee; r-q-tek86; ...
A little musical expression: I'm guessing Martin is old enough to remember this song. Youtube presents the original My Sharona
173
posted on
08/04/2006 2:52:17 PM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: sully777
Vote for Pedro!
174
posted on
08/04/2006 3:01:16 PM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
To: Liberty Valance
It's 5 O'clock somewhere...
175
posted on
08/04/2006 3:07:17 PM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
To: sully777
A few more pounds, and she could've had a major Adrienne Barbeau vibe goin' there.
To: martin_fierro; sully777
Pretty dead thread here.....
But baby pigeon said, "I can't make it; I'll get too tired." His mother said, "Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine."
The baby started to cry.
"What's wrong?" said the mother.
"I don't want to be pigeon towed!"
To: sully777; najida; Chanticleer; BJClinton; martin_fierro
Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on his masters' faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that .... a mime is a terrible thing to taste.
To: sully777; najida; Chanticleer; BJClinton; martin_fierro; fredhead; Liberty Valance
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
To: sully777; najida; Chanticleer; BJClinton; martin_fierro; fredhead; Liberty Valance
Quote of the Moment
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." -- Steve Martin
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