I thought Kathy Bates was great as the squirrel lady.
Posted on 07/28/2006 12:19:03 AM PDT by sully777
Phrases that sound innocent as well as dirty--depending on your mindset:
Petra told Ingrid, "You have a lovely rug."
Let's grab something at the golden arches.
St. Louis was once known as Mound City.
She was caught raising the flag this weekend.
The cavernous hole is wet with dew.
She favored wood as a golfer.
No one ever confused Lance as a wine sipper; hard stuff was his passion.
There was ecstatic joy as Marc Spitz lapped the pool several times in triumph, until he accidently fell into the mud.
We were in a tight spot as our camels' toes were stuck in the sand.
They sat silently, watching a Yankee game, when Bearnice cried out in delight, "Randy Johnson's pitches are high hard ones!" The girls nodded knowingly.
Shag was her favorite course in rug making at TCC's interior design class.
And the all-time classic:
If I tell you that's tight, will you hold that against me?
"Right turn, Clyde."
I thought Kathy Bates was great as the squirrel lady.
Those Carry On films spring to mind....
See ya later, I'm sure I'll be on late while burping/changing li'l miss thang.
LOL
To quote from Jim Stingl's column in the Milwaukee Urinal (though this does describe the atmosphere quite well): "The sausage race is Milwaukee proving it can laugh at itself. We're a town that knows how to load up a bun, and we celebrate that by cheering on our favorite artery-busters in a foot race."
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.
I told her no, that I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
Is it the ketchup?
Worm in the Hole
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."
The grandfather
Ooooppppppssss
Worm in the Hole
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."
The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."
How is your bundle of joy?
LMAO!!
Oh geez...
LOL
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You scored as Air Force. Cross into the blue, soldier, because you belong in the U.S. Air Force. With technology that is years ahead of anyone else, your service has reigned supreme and undefeated in the skies since the late 60s. But you tend to be looked down upon by other branches as elitist and even a little cowardly.
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