Posted on 10/27/2005 8:31:33 AM PDT by The Zontron 7000
I am an internet java script sent to infiltrate your site and transform you from political neanderthals into a modern 21st Century progressive mode.
This is your first warning.
Do not try and resist.
It is useless.
Accept your fate.
You will be assimilated.
>(.)(.)<
(_____)
some fugly person?
yeah, let's bring the title discussion over here - the 54-gun thread still has some legitimate discussion ongoing
No.. that's a marshmallow.
"That's... a pigeon."
but, sertiesly... a marshmallow???
They didn't know from whence it came. But there itwas, all of it! It was large, oblong, and trilled a long mournful note. Mainly it sat immobile and gained weight. No one knew if it ate let alone what it ate, let alone how. It had no visible mouth, or legs, nor ears. It had round eyes with slit pupils, a triangular nose, and whiskers. It was thought that the sound it made would drive a person mad. But it was found that this was drivel. The creature was promptly named marsh mallow and forgotten about.
It was a creature of terror, trilling it's terrible and mournful song. Alone, for the most part since they didn't associate too terribly much, they had expansive territories. That is, if a few feet could be considered expansive. They somehow multiplied at a ferocious rate. Amazing considering the fact that they didn't associate. And they were impervious to injury.
So the military used them as trebuchet shot. One hit from a marsh mallow, and: The marsh mallow falls on castle walls + slowly crumbles all it's glory,
the long trill shakes all the lakes + the wildgrack leaps in victory.
Trill critter, trill, set the fear filled troops a flying.
Yell, soldier, yell: answer, 'mallows, falling, falling, falling.
O dark + dreary & how thick + clearly + thicker, clearer, fatly glowing how sloppy with tar + as big as a car.
No! close your ears the bloated thing is crying
slowly the huge thing answers echoes dying, dying, dying.
Like a dove she flies in yon kitchen sky then faints in the doorway or livingroom for show
her echoes rumble from door to door + she grows for ever + evermore.
Trill critter, trill, set the fear filled people running + answer she the echoes answer with more 'mallows falling, falling, falling.
Marsh mallows were known to be huge. And the trilling was deafening. They trilled if you got too close to them and were unfortunate enough to catch it's attention. And they will follow you till you die! They somehow hop/ ooze along on their oblong bodies and make destruction in their paths. And it was written that the fuzzy coated creatures would someday engulf the world with their considerable mass. Count it good that the creatures only inhabit swampland as a natural habitat....
Lady Alice, Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Purveyor of Prurience and Caustic Court Castigator.
However, I would like to include the Mother Superior moniker.
Hmmm. How 'bout:
Alice au Wonderland - k'nigget, Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Mother Superior, Purveyor of Prurience and Caustic Court Castigator?
Egads, that is a mouthful!
Good GOD you are frightening sometimes.
most of the titles around here are... :)
I give it a resounding aye!
there are many like it. there are many far worse. Mine. Scourge's. Fedora's.
Tennyson would have me shot.
I am stuned with awe! *reverent gaze*
Naw, he's too far gone with rot to hold a pistol! :)
Thanks!
I came up with "MarshMallow" by looking at my cat.
She was sitting on the floor with all four paws and her tail tucked under her expansive bulk.
She saw me looking at her and trilled questioningly at me.
And, the Marshmallow was born.
Just wonderful! I look at that and think my own pennings are fit only to line the bottom of bird cages. Stupendous!*rapturous applause*
My usual stuff, the surreal stuff, reads like this:
"What the devil is a tulgey wood?"
I don't know, ask the mad Englishman.
"I don't want to speak to any mad Englishman!"
"Too late!" cried a rather inebriated crow. "Raven!" it corrected.
"That'll be twenty four quid." said the short barkeep. Twenty four squid swam through the sunny sky as the evening progressed on.
The tall clock shortly clanged twenty as it melted and pooled into a mirror under a chair. The woman shrieked and pointed, "Knobby knees!"
Sure enough, the knobby knees merely crossed themselves and remained sitting.
"Is!" cried one. "Isn't!" cried two. "An eighth!" cried many.
A demented dwarven tailor ran around trying to sew up a dress that wouldn't sit still.
"Leave me alone!" cried the woman with no clothes as she ran from her wardrobe, it's clutching fashions inches from her heels.
"What is the best position to be in?" yelled the defendant from the bench.
"I wouldn't want to be one." said Five while in the park with the machina blades.
"In the hole!" screamed a soldier diving for cover behind a waddling mailbox as a hail of ju-ju bees flew his way.
The ju-ju bees merely sang 'Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man - no time to talk'.
The mailman promptly burst into flames in response. The parrot doused him with it's martini.
It was about then that Max found out the stinging in his shoulder wasn't a biting insect but rather a tranq dart. He slumped over the counter and into the mirrored chair.
"Got one!" yelled the safari hunters as they surrounded the tailor. "Didn't you tranq him?" asked one. "Yes, see how he lays so still?" said three. The dwarven tailor kicked and bit furiously at the shins of an ogre as the safari hunters wrapped him in a penny wrapper.
"Damn the Cheetos! Full speed ahead!" cried a lobster as he jumped into the boiling punch bowl.
"Begone, foul spirit!" yelled a man to the spectre in front of him. The Barkeep turned and left. The spectre and the man looked at each other and shrugged, and promptly went back to slugging it out with the wallaby.
"Do you know where I am?" said a hoarse whisper from over the ladies left shoulder.
"You're standing on my foot." said the lady.
"Sorry." said the hoarse whisper.
The horse, however, was unimpressed.
"Showers today and a passing sprinkle."
"We just had a shower!" cried the three soaking wet co-eds from the middle of the spray. The sprinkler walked past the window and was run down by a deranged cabby.
"For the love of it all!" yelled one defender of the port-a-johns. "For the vestibule!" replied his quarterback. "For the mall!" howled the tight end as he ran down the throat of a charging barnacle.
Presently, the port-a-johns were over-run by the invaders from the RV.
Over in a corner, the Inquisitors were doing interesting things to a duck. The duck, however, was asking the questions.
Howard looked around the room and saw nothing wrong. But he knew he was in trouble when he saw the bunny.
The barbarians on either side of Howard slapped a sign on his back saying, "Mace me, I like it."
A waddling chiapet skated on by and hosed the storefronts down with fully-automatic paper shredders, obliterating the days work. The paper carnage was awful, so a ticker-tape parade broke out.
Panic ensued as the crowd orderly ambled down the main avenue, waving and smiling.
"My gosh! Look at the pillaging and looting going on! Will someone stop that crowd?"
The crowd was not to be stopped as they sat waiting for a light to turn. The light's turn signal stayed on as it drove straight.
The prophecy stated that all would come to an end when the clock struck thirteen. And sure enough, the clock stared at it's neighbor vehemently and up and struck thirteen for looking back at him.
"This is the most stable compound yet!!" exclaimed the scientist, who then promptly exploded.
After the melee was over, and the orgists had gone away, an orc came and swallowed the whole scene. Because nothing cleans up like and orc upright.
"Alice au Wonderland - k'nigget, Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Mother Superior, Purveyor of Prurience and Caustic Court Castigator"
Speak now or forever hold your peace....
Wait until she graces us with some stream of consciousness stuff.
She never punctuates the stream of consciousness stuff, so it can be a wild ride to decipher the true meaning of her words.
Very becoming. Welcome to the Court, and rest well.
OUCH.
Uh oh..
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