Posted on 06/10/2005 6:01:56 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance
TheBigB has given me the go-ahead to put up this weeks OFST. Thanks, B! Hurry back!
Last week we had some rough spots, so R-Q-TEK86 had the following ground-rules suggestion for this weeks thread:
By entering this silly thread, I promise to
Honor the spirit of silliness. Eat Spam, eggs, Spam, Spam and Spam. Not ask to see any of Jersey Republican Biker Chicks body parts. Stand on my desk, flap my arms and make sounds like a chicken. Spew milk through my nose at something ArGee posts. Make at least one blonde joke. Post a joke that makes people groan. Ponder the question Is Civil Engineer an oxymoron? Try to solve the mystery of who ctlpdad really is. Make a reference to AYBABTU. Disavow everything that Howard Dean stands for. Post a Pearls Before Swine cartoon (Dog Gone only). Make the guy in the next cubicle wonder whats so funny. Post a picture of my favorite refreshing beverage. Quack like the Aflac duck. Not post gratuitous cheesecake or beefcake pictures. Tell JimWforBush a joke about engineers. Make a pun. Use series instead of serious and hugh instead of huge. Ask r-q-tek86 if all architects are gay. Stand facing the back of the elevator on the way back from lunch. Post a picture that made me snort the first time I saw it. Do a silly walk. Make an obscure reference to Young Frankenstein. Ignore this thread.
Howie Long
I don't care what you call him, I'll take Howie! ;)
I love my wifes family reunions, too. She is one of 11 kids. Her mom has 36 grandkids. We own a 40x100 party tent, and Everybody pitches in. The kids make a killing returning the empty cans the next day.
Next year, 5 of Nana's grandkids all graduate highschool. They are known collectively as the 89'ers (all born in '89). We have already started planning a central graduation party for them.
Mine!
He IS a cutie.
He's a babe.
LADYJAG tried to ruin the OFST. Besides, my mom would never wear sunglasses inside.
I have two brothers and between the three of us - my parents have exactly ZERO grandkids, two grand dogs and three grand cats.
We don't need a tent.
Well, I thought about him and I just couldn't type properly with one hand!!!!
JRBC and I have VERY good taste... in hunks...
LOL!!!!
Our girls are almost 12!
To be prepared for the situation when they get older, here's a copy of hubby's rules for dating our daughters:
Rule ONE:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
Rule TWO:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule THREE:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.
Rule FOUR:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
Rule FIVE:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule SIX:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.
Rule SEVEN:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule EIGHT:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her Adam's apple. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies that feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.
I didn't call him that! It was Jersey Republican Biker Chick's typo in a earlier post, and my lame attempt at humor.
}^)
***************
I don't know, but I can tell you the number of headaches.
One. :)
Please note that I'm posting this picture ONLY because Thag doesn't know who our (JRBC and DD) heart throb is....
Howie Long
Poor guy, he can't even afford a razor...and I thought NFL players were highly paid!
Yes you do!
Hey now. Don't disparage the geotechs!
Although I have heard that when you look up "Boring" in the phone book they list geotechnical engineers.
If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
She did not.... or, maybe I don't know what you're talking about...
From what I saw, she may have over reacted - but things got out of hand last week... and not because of her...
Let's let bygones be bygones and move forward.
You owe me one keyboard and a fresh cup of coffee!!
8^)
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