I need help with marriage troubles (vanity)

[kerouacbal]

I am 26 years old and have been married for 2 years. I am having trouble growing up and I am driving my wife nuts. It has gotten to the point that my wife talks about divorce almost every day. I want to work this out more then I every wanted anything but I can't seem to do it or do it quick enough. I can't seem to remember consistently to do every day things like take out the garbage make sure all the doors are locked and the heat is off at night (there is a lot more but won't get into it all). I am posting this here to try to get some advise on how to help my self grow up and start to take care of my wife and son better like a husband should. My parents are dead and I don't have a close family member or friend to get advise from. Could someone please help me.

[TChris]

It is my experience that when divorce happens one person is prepared while the other is totally blind-sided.

That was exactly my experience. My father's advice was really good: If she starts mentioning the D-word, pack up her and her stuff and take her back to her parents. There's no room for a defeatist attitude in a successful marriage. Complete commitment on both sides is vital.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Print out this thread and give it to her.

[Lazamataz]

What is a mamber?

Two mambers = One bust.

[najida]

Real men would no more go that route than they would ask for directions.

Which reminds me of why the Hebrews spent 40 years wandering around in the desert ;)

(Moses wouldn't stop and ask for directions)

[Max Combined]

Your cure is much worse than the problem. Sounds more like a slave than a husband. Let her do her own dishes, etc.

[muir_redwoods]

Quit drinking, I realize I am making an assumption but many 26 year-olds haven't given up the frat boy life style.

[justshutupandtakeit]

Stop getting too stoned. Make a list of the things you have to do each night and post it so that you will see it before going to bed.

[Max Combined]

"Your wife is desiring to have a child ASAP"

You need to reflect a little longer and reread the original post again, where the lad talks about his son.

So much for paying attention to any advice you may give,

[Chunga]

The man has admitted to an astonishing immaturity. I'm not trying to get him to acquiesce about anything. I'm trying to offer him help as to how to grow up and do the things that self-sufficient adults know how to do and know must be done.

Marriage is for adults, my friend. If you don't bring maturity to the marriage table you're handicapping yourself. This man isn't negotiating feom a position of authority, or maturity; in fact he has realized that he isn't in a position to negotiate at all. He has asked for help. To advise him to begin throwing ultimatums around won't cure his core problem, which is (as he has stated) an inability to mature into adulthood.

[Max Combined]

"If you think it is easy to find a man who cares as much as I do, don't let the door hit you on your fat butt on the way out."

I like your style. Beats the he!! out of blubbering to some marriage counselor, IMHO.

[Max Combined]

Do you think she would fit in his pocket?

[xzins]

1. How old is your wife?

2. Is this the first marriage for both of you?

3. Do you have kids together or by any previous relationship?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Get a girlfriend...

He's married.

[dakine]

exactly!!

[Laura Earl]

This is why I prefer a well-trained husband. ;)

[SuziQ]

You need FLYLADY . She'll get you organized in no time, and I am NOT joking about this!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Make lists and put them where you'll see them.

[Conspiracy Guy]

I know who you are and I will tell everyone else if you don't get more specific about the problems;

[Tijeras_Slim]

And post pics.

[Max Combined]

"The most essential thing for children is that they be raised within intact families."

I disagree, although it is generally a good idea, there is nothing essential about it. Plenty of good people have been raised in non-intact families and plenty of stinkers have been raised in intact families.