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Abdul El-Sayed Promises To Any Jews Who Vote for Him That He'll Kill Them Last
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/28/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/28/2026 10:27:03 AM PDT by DFG

LANSING, MI — Democratic Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed sought to reassure nervous Jewish citizens that if they vote for him, he will kill them last.

El-Sayed estimated that it will take him about one year to murder all of the Jews in Michigan, so a vote for him could give Jewish residents the chance at a whole extra year of life.

"I solemnly vow that I will put you at the bottom of my kill list," said El-Sayed, speaking at a local synagogue. "You and your family will be absolutely safe until it is your turn for me to kill you. During that time, before I murder you, I will keep you as secure as I would my own family. You have my word."

El-Sayed received blowback from many of his supporters, who were furious that he would not kill all of the Jews immediately. "Traitor!" shouted several members of the crowd. "You promised they would die instantly. We cannot allow you to reward the infidels. Lying traitor!"

At publishing time, El-Sayed had offered an additional month of life to any Jewish residents who also donated at least $50 to his campaign.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: abdulelsayed; babylonbee; demagogicparty; democrats; dsa; elsayed; jews; koranimals; michigan; satire

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1 posted on 10/28/2026 10:27:03 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG
What's sad is that idiot Jews believe el Sayed

 

Actor Mandy Patinkin Claims ‘Jewish Safety Depends’ on Electing Democrat Michigan Candidate Abdul El Sayed

10/26/2026, 1:47:40 PM · by GrandJediMasterYoda · 94 replies
breitbart.com ^ | 10/26/26 | Warner Todd Huston

Inigo Montoya actor says "Jewish safety" depends on voting for Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed

10/27/2026, 12:01:00 PM · by Red Badger · 24 replies
Not the Bee ^ | October 26, 2026 | Joel Abbott

2 posted on 10/28/2026 10:30:17 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
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To: DFG

3 posted on 10/28/2026 10:32:51 AM PDT by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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To: DFG

It’s funny but serious at the same time re dangerous Islamist el Sayed...


4 posted on 10/28/2026 10:35:09 AM PDT by Freeleesy
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To: DFG

Well, even Hitler protected a handful of Jews.


5 posted on 10/28/2026 10:38:23 AM PDT by PAR35
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To: All

(sniffle) Abdul is so tolerant and compassionate (sob): “I solemnly vow that I will put you at the bottom of my kill list,” El-Sayed told a local synagogue. “You and your family will be absolutely safe until it is your turn for me to kill you. During that time, before I murder you, I will keep you as secure as I would my own family. You have my word.” El-Sayed also offered an additional month of life to any Jew who donated at least $50 to his campaign.

The man’s sensitivity is overwhelming....../s.


6 posted on 10/28/2026 10:38:52 AM PDT by Liz (“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies the work of His hands. " (Psalm 19:1))
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To: DFG

Sad, that that would probably, actually, work.


7 posted on 10/28/2026 10:59:03 AM PDT by Empire_of_Liberty
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To: DFG

So who goes first? Christians that vote for him?


8 posted on 10/28/2026 11:21:40 AM PDT by Kudsman (Beware Slotkin the Childless. )
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Or the colored peeps buyin looseys?


9 posted on 10/28/2026 11:23:34 AM PDT by Kudsman (Beware Slotkin the Childless. )
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To: DFG

That’s honor right there.


10 posted on 10/28/2026 11:25:39 AM PDT by If You Want It Fixed - Fix It
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To: DFG

Abdul El-Sayed and Charles Manson had a lot in common.

unlimited crazy


11 posted on 10/28/2026 11:39:07 AM PDT by Vaduz (NEVER TRUST A DEMOCRAT)
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To: DFG

OMG!!! :-)


12 posted on 10/28/2026 11:42:06 AM PDT by jackibutterfly ( )
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To: Responsibility2nd

Yeah. “Inigo Montoya could not be reached for comment”

What a jerk.


13 posted on 10/28/2026 1:37:11 PM PDT by JewishRighter (LIBERALISM IS A DEADLY MENTAL DISORDER)
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