Highlights of the California Candidates for Governor Debate [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 April 2026 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

One of the distinct differences between the Deomocrat and Republican candidates vying to be the state's next governor were their answers to the question of whether truck drivers should be able to understand English in order to be licensed to drive on the roads?

Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco (R) says "yes, it is a matter of public safety. The inability to read and understand roadside signs has a direct impact on crashes that kill other drivers and the passengers in their vehicles. Drivers who do not understand English make serious errors--like going the wrong way on freeway lanes, making illegal turns into traffic, and exceeding the speed limits."

Former US Congresswoman Katie Porter called Bianco's response "totally racist. Ignorance of the English language should not bar a black or brown person from earning a living driving a truck. Yet, this is precisely what Mr. Bianco would have the state do. He would yield to Trump's attempt to preempt the state's authority to grant licenses to whoever it pleases. He has no business running to represent a state as dedicated to diversity as California."

Xavier Becerra, former Secretary of Health and Human Services under President Biden, agreed with Porter, saying "as the state's next governor I would absolutely protect truckers who cannot speak or understand English. Many of them entered the country at President Biden's invitation and are seeking a better life. Only a small minority of them have been involved in fatal crashes. All persons entering traffic voluntarily assume the risks it entails."

Billionaire Tom Steyer (D) agreed with his fellow Democrats that "the mere suggestion that being able to understand English should be a requirement for driving an 18-wheel truck is racist. Instead of hassling immigrant truck drivers we should be arresting ICE officers. California is a sanctuary state. It's time we got the feds out of here. I'm confident that if we put a few of the ICE goons in prison the rest will leave us alone."

Another question that helped clarify where the candidates stand was their assessment of the job done by term-limited Gov. Gavin Newsom (D).

Republican candidate Steve Hilton called Newsom's tenure "a disaster. His high-tax and spend regime has not yielded better lives for the vast majority of California residents. State welfare payments have been marred by massive fraud. California leads the nation in homelessness and poverty. Out-migration of the hard-working and productive segments of the population are at all-time highs. Of course, the Governor was aided and abetted by the lopsided majority of Democrats in the state legislature as will any of the Democrats running for governor now will be if the win the job."

Billionaire Tom Steyer (D) took a more sympathetic view, saying "Gavin was plagued by bad luck. Hordes of foreigners seeking the good life flooded into the state. Paying for their welfare put a lot of pressure on the state's resources. Then there was the big fire in Los Angeles that hit just when the reservoirs were empty. Thousands of homes were burned and there hasn't been enough time to replace them with the higher-density residences Democrats want. I think he's done better than could be expected given those bad breaks."

Becerra 's assessment was more succinct "I give Newsom an 'A' for effort. Instead of bailing California out like former President Biden would've done, Trump has blamed Newsom and the Democrats for the wasteful spending and high taxes that raise the cost of living for residents and their lack of preparedness for the fires."

The debate moderator asked Hilton "won't your endorsement by Trump hurt your chances? In California, Democratic voters outnumber Republicans by two-to-one."

Hilton pointed out that "unlike this state's Democrat officeholders, I won't be insulting and slandering the President at every opportunity. When I'm governor we will have a constructive relationship and partnership with the federal government. We will work with the President and his administration to manage our forests better, to harvest the timber so we can build the homes lost in the 2025 fires, to increase California energy production so we can lower gas prices, to fight the fraud in our government so we can cut spending and cut taxes, and to enforce our immigration laws."

Porter scoffed at Hilton's "delusion that the people of California would ever elect a Republican again. Voters in this state hate Republicans in general and Trump specifically. By openly aligning himself with Trump's fascist regime Mr. Hilton has doomed his candidacy. Polls now show me ahead in the race for the primary. Voters like my 'take-no-prisoners toughness.'"

Becerra interjected, saying "Katie, you're wrong! Polls now show me in the lead. Voters that previously favored Swalwell now like me. I am the only candidate in this race to have previously won a statewide election as Attorney General and served in a federal administration. No one else is as highly qualified as me."

Bianco pointed out "both Hilton and I are leading all the Democrats in the latest polls at 16% and 14%, respectively. Porter and Becerra are tied at 13%. I think voters may be sick of misrule by Democrats and want some sane and sensible policies for dealing with the mess they've left us with. The California primary system gives every voter the opportunity to look beyond Party labels and elect the person they feel can do the best job. I hope they will see that person is me."

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TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: becerra; bianco; hilton; newsom; porter; postandrun; safety; satire; selfpromotion; steyer; trump

[John Semmens]

ping

[bike800]

“Ignorance of the English language should not bar a black or brown person from earning a living driving a truck”

Apparently Peter seems to think the knky people who can’t speak English are black and brown skin people.. what a racist

[Liz]

She is appalling-——nothing but a retrograde racist.

Former US Congresswoman Katie Porter labels “black and brown persons”
as ignoramuses for driving a truck and not knowing the English language.

[AZJeep]

While ago, my good friend was crippled by an accident caused by illegal Slovak immigrant who did not understand English and had no insurance!
He was neither brown nor black.

[KittyKares]

A Slovak immigrant? That’s rare.

I’m so sorry for your friend. That is life-altering and should never have happened.

[UCANSEE2]

She is appalling-——nothing but a retrograde racist.

While that may be true, this is a SATIRE article. Apparently an effective one.

[Liz]

Try reading with “tongue in cheek.”