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12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/07/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/07/2024 10:58:04 AM PDT by DFG

U.S. — A new wave of controversy erupted as 12 women came forward alleging they had been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump's vice presidential pick would end up being.

The damning allegations began to come in despite the fact that Trump has yet to officially name a running mate or even disclose whether the pick is a man or a woman. Sources confirmed at least a dozen highly credible accusers emerged to demand justice against whoever the VP candidate might be.

"Whoever the VP pick is, I am here to tell my story of how I was inappropriately touched by them," claimed one accuser. "As soon as Trump sees fit to announce who his running mate is, I'm going to positively identify him… or her. Whatever. No matter who he picks, they aren't going to get away with what they did. They must be held accountable!"

Other women quickly joined the ranks of accusers, suggesting Trump's eventual VP selection — no matter who it may end up being — has a long history of serious misconduct. "The person Trump picks as his running mate will not get away with the things we all know they did. Once he announces who it is, we'll know who to blame for what happened to all of us."

At publishing time, the DOJ had announced they would be charging Trump's VP pick with serious federal crimes, once they find out who it is.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; doj; election; trump; vp
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1 posted on 05/07/2024 10:58:04 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Excellent, The Bee stings again!


2 posted on 05/07/2024 10:59:03 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: DFG

Satire. For now anyways.


3 posted on 05/07/2024 11:00:16 AM PDT by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...
Babylon Bee.

4 posted on 05/07/2024 11:01:30 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
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To: DFG
12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is

The Babylon Bee, News From The Future, Today!

5 posted on 05/07/2024 11:01:53 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: DFG

BB getting out in front of reality again?........................


6 posted on 05/07/2024 11:02:56 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
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To: DFG

BUahahahahahaha!

Well done Bee!


7 posted on 05/07/2024 11:03:33 AM PDT by Candor7 (Ask not for whom the Trump Trolls,He trolls for thee!),<img src="" width=500</img><a href="">tag</a>)
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To: DFG

The Bee is on that fuzzy interface separating humor and prophesy.


8 posted on 05/07/2024 11:04:01 AM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: DFG

Gloria Allred, or her wicked daughter, has probably already received the first payment from this class action lawsuit.


9 posted on 05/07/2024 11:07:37 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: DFG

Good one.........


10 posted on 05/07/2024 11:07:46 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: DFG

Tulsi assaulted someone?


11 posted on 05/07/2024 11:17:59 AM PDT by woodbutcher1963
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To: DFG

This might be funny, if it wasn’t true.


12 posted on 05/07/2024 11:18:05 AM PDT by ASOC (This space for rent)
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To: DFG

Is this from Gloria Alread?


13 posted on 05/07/2024 11:18:27 AM PDT by bray (It's not racist to be racist against races you do not like.)
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To: DFG

The governor of Arkansas, and the governor of S. Dakota, are preparing their defenses, just in case one of them becomes the nominee. ;)


14 posted on 05/07/2024 11:24:12 AM PDT by adorno (CCH)
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To: DFG

Better have some men ready, in case Trump selects a woman.


15 posted on 05/07/2024 11:41:44 AM PDT by aimhigh (1 John 3:23 "And THIS is His commandment . . . . ")
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To: DFG

the Bee is closer to the truth in reporting than any other news outlet around.


16 posted on 05/07/2024 11:45:10 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: DFG

Too funny, but you know it’s true


17 posted on 05/07/2024 11:47:48 AM PDT by realcleanguy (quickly things are falling apart, now that the )
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To: aimhigh
Better have some men ready

Why ... you got something against lesbian sexual harassers?

18 posted on 05/07/2024 11:50:15 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: DFG

If you look at the source, the accompanying pic shows one of the “women” on the 2nd row is a guy...


19 posted on 05/07/2024 12:13:45 PM PDT by grey_whiskers ( The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: ASOC

That’s essentially what they did in 2016 in regards racism for the Republican Nominee. It’s how Trump became a Nazi, and many other attributes.


20 posted on 05/07/2024 12:15:23 PM PDT by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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