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97% of climate scientists agree that we only have 18 months to save their jobs
genesiustimes.com ^ | Exavier Saskagoochie

Posted on 07/30/2019 12:41:59 PM PDT by PROCON

An international body of nearly 100 climate scientists convened by the United Nations have issued a stern warning to the rest of the world.

Unless governments around the globe undertake “unprecedented” action to reverse it, 97 percent of climate scientists will lose their jobs.

In short, the scientists say the world has only eighteen months to tackle climate change to avoid some serious unemployment in the climate science industry.

“If we can’t convince people that the world is ending soon due to climate change and thus secure funding for more studies about how the world is ending,” said climatologist Peter Zeiglerface, “then we’re going to be out of a job.”

That is the tough-love conclusion of the U.N.’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, or IPCC, in a major consensus report released Sunday evening after days of discussions last week between scientists and government officials meeting in South Korea.

The IPCC, seen as a definitive source of income for climate scientists siphoning money from governmental agencies to produce catastrophic warnings.Because of that, the report “is being received with hope in some quarters because it affirms that alarmism is still possible.” Many observers abroad see President Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw the United States from the Paris climate accord as a backward step by the world’s second biggest emitter of carbon dioxide.

But the path to reverse the lay offs is arduous. And, so far, even nations with leaders who acknowledge the severity of climate science industry have not pledged money to keep all the scientists employed.


TOPICS: Humor; Weather
KEYWORDS: climatechange; doomage; doomed; fakefakescience; fakescience; globalwarming; satire; teotwawki; theskyisfalling
Although satire, this needs to happen.
1 posted on 07/30/2019 12:41:59 PM PDT by PROCON
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To: PROCON

“i didn’t get a harumph out of that guy”


2 posted on 07/30/2019 12:44:47 PM PDT by Zathras
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To: PROCON

We need Climate Scientist Salary Cap and Trade.

Those receiving Salaries for Climate Science need to buy credits from those of us who don’t.


3 posted on 07/30/2019 12:45:13 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: PROCON

If we resign early, will they lose their jobs today?


4 posted on 07/30/2019 12:46:10 PM PDT by Still Thinking (Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
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To: PROCON

Gee I was hoping it was real news ;)


5 posted on 07/30/2019 12:47:10 PM PDT by Freedom56v2 (#KATE'SWALL Build it Now)
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To: DannyTN

https://genesiustimes.com/thousands-of-us-companies-celebrating-noahic-covenant-in-june/


6 posted on 07/30/2019 12:48:51 PM PDT by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: PROCON
Not really satire.

NYS has just passed an initiative to save the world. Money is not an issue. They will take what they want.

7 posted on 07/30/2019 12:49:16 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: PROCON
re> Although satire, this needs to happen

I swear it is getting harder and harder to tell satire or parody from real fake news.

8 posted on 07/30/2019 12:51:50 PM PDT by IC Ken (Stop making stupid people famous)
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To: PROCON
But the path to reverse the layoffs is arduous. And, so far, even nations with leaders who acknowledge the severity of climate science industry have not pledged money to keep all the scientists employed.

First of all, this article is hilarious.

Second of all, they need to be out of a job today because their work is done. They have issued their warning that we are all doomed. What more is there to say?

Pay us so we can tell you you are doomeder. Later, right before the end, it can be doomedest.

Finally, they can have the last scientist check out as the final sentient being on this God-Forsaken planet. He has tp agree to fall forward and land on a button that turns on the recording of all these scientists saying, "We told you so?"

Who is deader? The guy that dies from suicide because he was trying to shrink his carbon footprint or the guy who gets bumped off by the Beast of Global Climate Change?

9 posted on 07/30/2019 1:01:22 PM PDT by stevem
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To: PROCON

They better have a hotline to GOD


10 posted on 07/30/2019 1:42:21 PM PDT by ImNotLying (The Constitution is an instrument for the people to restrain the government...Patrick Henry)
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To: PROCON

They should just shut up and go play some golf.


11 posted on 07/30/2019 1:44:40 PM PDT by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: PROCON

“Climate Scientist” is a contradiction of terms. Science is about predictability, A+B=C every time. Earth’s climate is as dynamic as the earth itself. To ascribe variations in earth’s climate to man made activity is arrogance.


12 posted on 07/30/2019 1:49:56 PM PDT by vigilence (Vigilence)
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To: PROCON

They always say it’s “settled science.” So if that’s the case...


13 posted on 07/30/2019 1:50:17 PM PDT by unixfox (Abolish Slavery, Repeal the 16th Amendment)
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To: unixfox

They worry so much about the climate, the planet, but fail to worry about their SOULS. READ to the end of the book - this WORLD WILL END, the BIG question is: Who do you say Jesus IS?


14 posted on 07/30/2019 1:52:49 PM PDT by princess leah
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To: PROCON

They must know the cooling period is descending upon the globe. 8>)


15 posted on 07/30/2019 2:21:23 PM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: PROCON

They suddenly understood that the computer models cannot predict inter-galactic gamma rays, which have a greater effect on climate (by cloud production) than any CO2 levels.


16 posted on 07/30/2019 3:18:01 PM PDT by budj (combat vet, 2nd of 3 generations)
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To: DannyTN
Those receiving Salaries for Climate Science need to buy credits from those of us who don’t.

I like the way you're thinking.

17 posted on 08/01/2019 4:59:51 AM PDT by ealgeone
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