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DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-08 (DUmmies Incapable Of Bargain Shopping For Food)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2008 7:06:40 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

How many times have you been at the supermarket and seen some outrageously HIGH price for some produce? I see this all the time so am I somehow forced to buy it? Of course not. In fact, it is VERY EASY to bargain shop for produce. Possibly easier than for any other type of product. However, when a DUmmie sees a cantelope selling for an $3.89 each, he helplessly bemoans his fate as you can see in this THREAD with the pitiful title of "Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the 'haves' pretty soon!" Yes, DUmmie, you have NO choice. You MUST buy that $3.89 cantelope. You are forbidden to look for cantelops at other stores or buy them roadside or at farmer's markets for a buck or less each. So let us now watch the DUmmies use their utter incompetence at bargain shopping as a segue to condemn our EVIL capitalist system in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who recently bought a whole bunch of HUGE papayas for just a buck each, is in the [brackets]:

Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the "haves" pretty soon!

[A piece of cantelope sold for $3.89. Imagine how much a whole cantelope must sell for.]

A crappy bagel costs $.69 and a crappier muffin is $1.49 at the supermarket. A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19...for broth and a few pieces of pasta. Brown rice is $1.79 lb and bread and milk are near $4.00. Why are we not taking to the streets with this? I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.

[Bagels? I can get a half dozen for a buck. Soup? I can get cans at 2 for a buck. Milk? I WAIT for a certain farmer's market to sell it at a buck for a half gallon and then stock up on it. But since you are TOO STUPID to bargain shop, suddenly you want to take to the streets to overthrow this EVIL Bush regime.]

Looked at Watermelons, yesterday...........small ones - $6.99 and less small ones (can't call them big, really - $7.99. Last year you could get them for $4.99 and they were huge......insane....

[I guess you're too LAZY to stop where roadside vendors are selling watermelons really cheap. Oh, and have you ever checked out the produce section of flea markets? Only true DUmmies will pay $6.99 for a small watermelon. I'll feel good munching on a nice cold small one dollar watermelon later today knowing you allowed yourself to get ripped off.]

The junk food aisle prices are cheap. Hell, a 16 oz bag of imitation chocolate candy $.89. Twinkies are still cheap enough. Why not buy em by the case?

[Good news! Frozen pizza is still cheap. I bought 4 for 5 dollars a week ago.]

well we know where they are coming from when they keep junk food prices down, they are treating us with such vile and disrespect.

[You have absolutely no nutritional choice since the EVIL Bush regime is forcing you to eat junk food.]

....junk food today is like yesterday's cigarettes....make it cheap, encourage their use and watch the peasants drop like flies (after we work the shit out of 'em for a few decades, of course)....capitalism gives me such a warm feeling inside....

[Capitalism is KILLING you with twinkies and chocolate donuts.]

A single ear of corn $1.00. It's crazy.

[Even crazier is that you paid that price.]

They were $2 for six last week at Publix. People need to learn to shop smart. Stock up on items which are on sale and use coupons.

[SHHHHH!!! Don't let the DUmmies know anything about the concept known as bargain shopping. Please continue to allow them to keep on getting ripped off due to their own stupidity.]

I can't believe these produce prices. I shell out for it, but then, I CAN. I count my blessings and am angry on behalf of those whom it really pinches.

[Enjoy those $3.89 cantelopes and $6.99 small watermelons, DUmmie!]

Thank you for your anger. We feel very alone and isolated.

[And helpless.]

Truth be told, I'm one of these idiotf*cks who thinks Trader Joe's is economical, so clearly I haven't "gotten it" in many years.

[Sigh! If only Florida had Trader Joe's so I could indulge in Two Buck Chuck wine.]

I got hostile in the toilet paper section.......... ...12 roll pack of my usual brand - $8.76. Screw that - it goes down the crapper, ferchrissakes, I'll be damned if I pay that. Family will have to get used to flimsy I guess. Meat aisle should have a loan counter right next to it so I can take out a mortgage to get some damn chops..... Milk - hell, a few bucks more and I could get a dang cow..... eggs - do we have a shortage of laying hens? I hate to go to the grocery store anymore - it seems these days we'll have the same menu rotation week after week - but I guess we're lucky to still be able to eat something.

[Maybe your family will have to get used to using their left hands. BTW, I have a food deal where I get meat, beer, olive oil, and paper products really cheap. (My wife doesn't want me to talk about it in detail.) Right now we have enough toilet paper and paper kitchen towels to last us until around Labor Day.]

We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup...whatever. Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening. Better off using a pressure cleaner.

[Ben Burch will provide you with his personal Rotor Rooter.]

Ha! Eat pine cones AND use them as toilet paper!

[First use the pine cones as toilet paper and THEN eat them.]

a friend of mine was visiting canada and she said a head of lettuce is $5 there....is that true? who the hell would pay $5 for a head of lettuce?

[Clueless Canadian DUmmies.]

I haven't had canteloupe for years based on the price. Only when they sell them at 2 for $3.00. And this is MacIntosh apple country. Cripes, they are $3.49 lb.

[Obviously a DUmmie who NEVER stops for roadside fruit vendors nor goes to farmer's markets.]

Leeks (bunch of three) -- $5.99 at my local Krogers last week.

[EEK! Be sure not to check the farmer's markets so you can continue to bemoan your deserved fate.]

are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?

[They are saying that helpless DUmmie stupidity is beyond belief and are laughing at you.]

Adzuki beans are the lowest in fat but high in protein. They're great cooked with buttcup squash.

[Ben Burch loves buttcup squash.]

wolfgang puck soup is almost always on sale for $1-$1.25/can, and it definitely is MUCH better than "some broth and a few pieces of pasta".

[Dented Wolfgang Puck soup cans sell for even less at the flea market.]

When will people finally take to the streets? When cantalopes cost $5? $10? What would it take? Seriously...people should be out in the streets NOW.

[Would you take to the streets if I price mark cantelopes up to $20 each? I would love to watch the comedic entertainment.]

2.67 for store brand soup. Use to be $4 for 2 a few weeks ago. Juice is insane. God damn f*cking eggs. Shopping has become depressing. God damn Bush Inc and the enablers.

[Yes, the EVIL Bush regime is preventing you from bargain shopping.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix
I got hostile in the toilet paper section. . . .

You've got tissues.

141 posted on 05/13/2008 12:23:40 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Tissues, Etc.)
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To: PJ-Comix
12 roll pack of my usual brand - $8.76.

Do like Sheryl Crow, only use one sheet.

142 posted on 05/13/2008 12:25:31 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (As the Crow ply's.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Meat aisle should have a loan counter right next to it. . . .

You can proceed to the loon counter.

143 posted on 05/13/2008 12:27:03 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Counter intelligence.)
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To: PJ-Comix

New tagline...ahhh yeah!


144 posted on 05/13/2008 12:29:55 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (DU: Standing athwart history yelling "$#@$# you mother$#@$#er!")
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To: PJ-Comix
do we have a shortage of laying hens?

Ask benburch.

145 posted on 05/13/2008 12:31:01 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (ben digs the chicks.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I sort of got hooked years ago on Indiana Melons which is a cross between cantelope and honeydew melons.

Huh? I've been a Hoosier all of my life and, while Indiana enjoys a reputation for superior melon farming, I have never heard of an "Indiana Melon" that is cross between cantelope and honeydew. It sounds tasty, though.

146 posted on 05/13/2008 12:32:58 PM PDT by Ignatz (I actually said that with a straight face.)
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To: PJ-Comix
We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup. . . .

You must be a souper delegate.

147 posted on 05/13/2008 12:33:14 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Mmmm . . . rock soup. . . .)
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To: bcsco
I'm heading over to the discount farmer's market in just a little bit. Will pick up a couple more 1 pound rolls of Jimmy Dean sausage for just a buck each. Will check out the produce section for the latest specials. Hope they have the one dollar papayas again. Also will look for the milk for a buck per half gallon if they have it and then buy a couple gallon's worth.

Weird thing about this indoor farmer's market is that the prices are INCREDIBLE on meat, milk, and produce but packaged goods are higher than in the store.

148 posted on 05/13/2008 12:35:31 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: absolootezer0
Two problems with that:
1) Most DUmmies wouldn't be caught DEAD actually working the soil with their hands, and,
2) any that do are generally unwashed hippies already growing other crops, if you know what I mean.
149 posted on 05/13/2008 12:36:45 PM PDT by Ignatz (I actually said that with a straight face.)
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To: Ignatz
Huh? I've been a Hoosier all of my life and, while Indiana enjoys a reputation for superior melon farming, I have never heard of an "Indiana Melon" that is cross between cantelope and honeydew. It sounds tasty, though.

In Ohio they are called Honey Rocks. They look just like cantelope only bigger with big grooves on the outside. You find them all over the midwest from roadside vendors. VERY tasty!!! Which is why ordinary cantelope no longer satisfies me.

150 posted on 05/13/2008 12:37:36 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening. Better off using a pressure cleaner.

Blast off to Uranus!

151 posted on 05/13/2008 12:37:42 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Bidet, mate!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Ha! Eat pine cones AND use them as toilet paper!

Fir cones actually do a pretty servicable job in this department (NOLS training, thank you) - they are much more papery than pine cones (ungh).

Just make sure you go with the grain and not against it.

152 posted on 05/13/2008 12:38:38 PM PDT by dirtboy
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To: PJ-Comix
a friend of mine was visiting canada and she said a head of lettuce is $5 there. . . .

But, but, I thought Canada was so much more enlightened than we are! I thought they had free universal lettuce heads for all!

153 posted on 05/13/2008 12:40:41 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Lettuce prey.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Leeks (bunch of three) -- $5.99 at my local Krogers last week.

Rove is responsible for the leeks.

154 posted on 05/13/2008 12:42:14 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Plame him.)
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To: PJ-Comix
When will people finally take to the streets? When cantalopes cost $5? $10? What would it take? Seriously...people should be out in the streets NOW.

The Orange Revolution begins TODAY!

SPEAK FRUIT TO POWER!

155 posted on 05/13/2008 12:44:00 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The DUmmies are revolting!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Weird thing about this indoor farmer's market is that the prices are INCREDIBLE on meat, milk, and produce but packaged goods are higher than in the store.

Not all that weird when you think about what it is; a 'farmer's market. Meat dairy & produce should be cheaper because (supposedly) they cut out the middle man. Not true of packaged goods which they probably can't compete in because of volume.

You're fortunate to live in an area with such access to produce stands year 'round. Here, it's during the summer, and late summer at that. Farmer stands can be found all over during July - September. On into October they also sell season produce like pumpkins, squash, etc. but after that they're closed until next year.

We save by buying at super Wal-Marts, or buying in bulk if practical. And neither of us has expensive tastes so that helps. Plus, we do a lot of cooking instead of buying prepared products. That's a big help.

At the grocery today, we spent just over $104. But over $30 of that was two pots for flowers plus a novel to read. And the $74 we spent on groceries will last into next week.

The wife will do our normal shopping on Friday, and that will last us close to 2 weeks. I'll lay odds she'll spend around $120. And some of that will be household items.

156 posted on 05/13/2008 12:52:10 PM PDT by bcsco (To heck with a third party. We need a second one....)
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To: PJ-Comix
They look just like cantelope only bigger with big grooves on the outside.

Okay, now I know what you are talking about. Yes they ARE very tasty, indeed!
Grow yer own, Peej!

I keep seeing those giant papaya's that you talk about. And they're fairly cheap. I think I'll try one next time I make some papaya pico de gallo.

157 posted on 05/13/2008 1:16:54 PM PDT by Ignatz (I actually said that with a straight face.)
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To: netmilsmom
A jar is 10.00. If he invested in a 10.00 coffee maker from Big Lots, he could save big bucks. But that would be work to make that coffee.

Yes, I know. I always give my older sister a hard time about drinking Starbucks coffee. I tell her I can drink coffee for a month for the $10.** + she spends there daily.

158 posted on 05/13/2008 1:38:12 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Typical white person, bitter, religious, gun owner, who will "Just say No to BO (or HRC).")
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To: wbill

“because it’s not IN SEASON?”

I did notice that most of the items are either produce out-of-season or comoodity hard-goods (paper).

Not only do they have to be brought in from another country, remember the US dollar is sinking The aforementioned $5.00 melon in Canada is actually around $6.00 US and melons are REALLY out-of-season up there!


159 posted on 05/13/2008 1:43:03 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: Dianna
I made a list of what I felt like cooking and went to my regular store.

My wife gets so ticked at me when I go to the grocery store with my list, do the shopping and be home in less than an hour. She spends three hours driving about 12 miles further and about twice the $$$s I spend. Of course, she goes up and down EVERY isle to see if anything is "on sale". I told her "DUH! Why did you make a shopping list?"

160 posted on 05/13/2008 1:43:06 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Typical white person, bitter, religious, gun owner, who will "Just say No to BO (or HRC).")
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