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DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-08 (DUmmies Incapable Of Bargain Shopping For Food)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2008 7:06:40 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

How many times have you been at the supermarket and seen some outrageously HIGH price for some produce? I see this all the time so am I somehow forced to buy it? Of course not. In fact, it is VERY EASY to bargain shop for produce. Possibly easier than for any other type of product. However, when a DUmmie sees a cantelope selling for an $3.89 each, he helplessly bemoans his fate as you can see in this THREAD with the pitiful title of "Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the 'haves' pretty soon!" Yes, DUmmie, you have NO choice. You MUST buy that $3.89 cantelope. You are forbidden to look for cantelops at other stores or buy them roadside or at farmer's markets for a buck or less each. So let us now watch the DUmmies use their utter incompetence at bargain shopping as a segue to condemn our EVIL capitalist system in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who recently bought a whole bunch of HUGE papayas for just a buck each, is in the [brackets]:

Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the "haves" pretty soon!

[A piece of cantelope sold for $3.89. Imagine how much a whole cantelope must sell for.]

A crappy bagel costs $.69 and a crappier muffin is $1.49 at the supermarket. A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19...for broth and a few pieces of pasta. Brown rice is $1.79 lb and bread and milk are near $4.00. Why are we not taking to the streets with this? I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.

[Bagels? I can get a half dozen for a buck. Soup? I can get cans at 2 for a buck. Milk? I WAIT for a certain farmer's market to sell it at a buck for a half gallon and then stock up on it. But since you are TOO STUPID to bargain shop, suddenly you want to take to the streets to overthrow this EVIL Bush regime.]

Looked at Watermelons, yesterday...........small ones - $6.99 and less small ones (can't call them big, really - $7.99. Last year you could get them for $4.99 and they were huge......insane....

[I guess you're too LAZY to stop where roadside vendors are selling watermelons really cheap. Oh, and have you ever checked out the produce section of flea markets? Only true DUmmies will pay $6.99 for a small watermelon. I'll feel good munching on a nice cold small one dollar watermelon later today knowing you allowed yourself to get ripped off.]

The junk food aisle prices are cheap. Hell, a 16 oz bag of imitation chocolate candy $.89. Twinkies are still cheap enough. Why not buy em by the case?

[Good news! Frozen pizza is still cheap. I bought 4 for 5 dollars a week ago.]

well we know where they are coming from when they keep junk food prices down, they are treating us with such vile and disrespect.

[You have absolutely no nutritional choice since the EVIL Bush regime is forcing you to eat junk food.]

....junk food today is like yesterday's cigarettes....make it cheap, encourage their use and watch the peasants drop like flies (after we work the shit out of 'em for a few decades, of course)....capitalism gives me such a warm feeling inside....

[Capitalism is KILLING you with twinkies and chocolate donuts.]

A single ear of corn $1.00. It's crazy.

[Even crazier is that you paid that price.]

They were $2 for six last week at Publix. People need to learn to shop smart. Stock up on items which are on sale and use coupons.

[SHHHHH!!! Don't let the DUmmies know anything about the concept known as bargain shopping. Please continue to allow them to keep on getting ripped off due to their own stupidity.]

I can't believe these produce prices. I shell out for it, but then, I CAN. I count my blessings and am angry on behalf of those whom it really pinches.

[Enjoy those $3.89 cantelopes and $6.99 small watermelons, DUmmie!]

Thank you for your anger. We feel very alone and isolated.

[And helpless.]

Truth be told, I'm one of these idiotf*cks who thinks Trader Joe's is economical, so clearly I haven't "gotten it" in many years.

[Sigh! If only Florida had Trader Joe's so I could indulge in Two Buck Chuck wine.]

I got hostile in the toilet paper section.......... ...12 roll pack of my usual brand - $8.76. Screw that - it goes down the crapper, ferchrissakes, I'll be damned if I pay that. Family will have to get used to flimsy I guess. Meat aisle should have a loan counter right next to it so I can take out a mortgage to get some damn chops..... Milk - hell, a few bucks more and I could get a dang cow..... eggs - do we have a shortage of laying hens? I hate to go to the grocery store anymore - it seems these days we'll have the same menu rotation week after week - but I guess we're lucky to still be able to eat something.

[Maybe your family will have to get used to using their left hands. BTW, I have a food deal where I get meat, beer, olive oil, and paper products really cheap. (My wife doesn't want me to talk about it in detail.) Right now we have enough toilet paper and paper kitchen towels to last us until around Labor Day.]

We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup...whatever. Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening. Better off using a pressure cleaner.

[Ben Burch will provide you with his personal Rotor Rooter.]

Ha! Eat pine cones AND use them as toilet paper!

[First use the pine cones as toilet paper and THEN eat them.]

a friend of mine was visiting canada and she said a head of lettuce is $5 there....is that true? who the hell would pay $5 for a head of lettuce?

[Clueless Canadian DUmmies.]

I haven't had canteloupe for years based on the price. Only when they sell them at 2 for $3.00. And this is MacIntosh apple country. Cripes, they are $3.49 lb.

[Obviously a DUmmie who NEVER stops for roadside fruit vendors nor goes to farmer's markets.]

Leeks (bunch of three) -- $5.99 at my local Krogers last week.

[EEK! Be sure not to check the farmer's markets so you can continue to bemoan your deserved fate.]

are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?

[They are saying that helpless DUmmie stupidity is beyond belief and are laughing at you.]

Adzuki beans are the lowest in fat but high in protein. They're great cooked with buttcup squash.

[Ben Burch loves buttcup squash.]

wolfgang puck soup is almost always on sale for $1-$1.25/can, and it definitely is MUCH better than "some broth and a few pieces of pasta".

[Dented Wolfgang Puck soup cans sell for even less at the flea market.]

When will people finally take to the streets? When cantalopes cost $5? $10? What would it take? Seriously...people should be out in the streets NOW.

[Would you take to the streets if I price mark cantelopes up to $20 each? I would love to watch the comedic entertainment.]

2.67 for store brand soup. Use to be $4 for 2 a few weeks ago. Juice is insane. God damn f*cking eggs. Shopping has become depressing. God damn Bush Inc and the enablers.

[Yes, the EVIL Bush regime is preventing you from bargain shopping.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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1 posted on 05/13/2008 7:06:40 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

ib4tp!


2 posted on 05/13/2008 7:08:19 AM PDT by EarthBound (Ex Deo,gratia. Ex astris,scientia (Who the hell do I vote for now?))
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 05/13/2008 7:08:24 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

When do I get rewarded for the most IB4TPs, Peej?


4 posted on 05/13/2008 7:10:11 AM PDT by EarthBound (Ex Deo,gratia. Ex astris,scientia (Who the hell do I vote for now?))
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To: PJ-Comix

5!


5 posted on 05/13/2008 7:10:36 AM PDT by Huntress (Barack Obama--Not just another empty suit.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Thank Gaia for food stamps, eh DUmmies?!


6 posted on 05/13/2008 7:10:42 AM PDT by rockrr (Global warming is to science what Islam is to religion)
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To: PJ-Comix

TOP 10!!


7 posted on 05/13/2008 7:10:50 AM PDT by JRios1968 ("If you go over a cliff with all flags flying, you are still going over a cliff"--Ronald Reagan)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10?


8 posted on 05/13/2008 7:12:31 AM PDT by Phantom Lord (Fall on to your knees for the Phantom Lord)
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To: PJ-Comix

Of course the solution is to raise taxes.


9 posted on 05/13/2008 7:13:24 AM PDT by kenth (Just think, .000001783% of the population is screwing it all up for the rest of us.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Juice is insane. God damn f*cking eggs.

Insulting the food won't help. ;)

10 posted on 05/13/2008 7:14:14 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("One man's 'magic' is another man's engineering. 'Supernatural' is a null word." -- Robert Heinlein)
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To: PJ-Comix

Cantelope for less than a dollar on the roadside in May? Not even in the Rio Grande Valley. It’s way too soon.


11 posted on 05/13/2008 7:15:02 AM PDT by DaGman
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To: PJ-Comix

>>are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?<<

We’re saying that the Dem congress has screwed us so badly, it’s sad.

Then we are heading off to Sam’s Club, Aldi’s and tending our gardens. We don’t moan, we do something.


12 posted on 05/13/2008 7:16:49 AM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Ironman. (but really made from Gold plated titanium))
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To: kenth

Let’s see if the dummies will now advocate loosening of their environmental demands for more domestic energy production; production that would ease the cost of producing and shipping cantaloupe. What’s more important, cantaloupe or the environment?


13 posted on 05/13/2008 7:18:31 AM PDT by kenth (Just think, .000001783% of the population is screwing it all up for the rest of us.)
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To: DaGman

I’ve seen cantelope at a farmer’s market here for a buck each. I don’t usually eat cantelope, however. I sort of got hooked years ago on Indiana Melons which is a cross between cantelope and honeydew melons. Just cantelope doesn’t do it for me.


14 posted on 05/13/2008 7:19:12 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Why do these goofballs go out of their way to make me feel so superior?

This thread made my day! Thanks PJ!

15 posted on 05/13/2008 7:20:29 AM PDT by Niteranger68 (If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Bush must've added a "Food" dial to his gigantic machine that also controls gasoline prices, hurricanes, the number of homeless people, and the global climate.

Perhaps.....just perhaps....the produce that these idiots are b*tching about is expensive because it's not IN SEASON? Imagine that. When something is not plentiful, or needs to be shipped in from other countries, it's more expensive.

It must be hard to walk through life without a clue.

16 posted on 05/13/2008 7:20:44 AM PDT by wbill
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To: netmilsmom

You took the words right out of my fingertips.


17 posted on 05/13/2008 7:20:55 AM PDT by GlennBeck08
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To: PJ-Comix

forget bargain shopping.. grow your own!
buy a couple packs of seeds for a dollar. keep it watered and presto! cheap food.
throw the leftovers on a table in your yard or take ‘em to the farmers market and sell ‘em. sell half a dozen of anything and recoup your costs.


18 posted on 05/13/2008 7:21:15 AM PDT by absolootezer0 ( Detroit: we're so bad, even our mayor is a criminal)
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To: kenth

The lefties’ answer is for everyone ELSE to “conserve” so that they’ll have more to consume - this is how it is with ALL of their policies having to do with the distribution of resources.

Notice the first reference to the “haves”. Heck, we’re ALL “haves” in America. There are the “haves” and the “have lots”.


19 posted on 05/13/2008 7:21:25 AM PDT by MrB (You can't reason people out of a position that they didn't use reason to get into in the first place)
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To: PJ-Comix
I shell out for it, but then, I CAN. I count my blessings and am angry on behalf of those whom it really pinches.

Rush says this all the time. I.e., "I'm okay but my neighbors must be hurting b/c everyone (but the neighbors themselves) tells me they are."

20 posted on 05/13/2008 7:21:44 AM PDT by synbad600
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