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DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-08 (DUmmies Incapable Of Bargain Shopping For Food)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2008 7:06:40 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

How many times have you been at the supermarket and seen some outrageously HIGH price for some produce? I see this all the time so am I somehow forced to buy it? Of course not. In fact, it is VERY EASY to bargain shop for produce. Possibly easier than for any other type of product. However, when a DUmmie sees a cantelope selling for an $3.89 each, he helplessly bemoans his fate as you can see in this THREAD with the pitiful title of "Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the 'haves' pretty soon!" Yes, DUmmie, you have NO choice. You MUST buy that $3.89 cantelope. You are forbidden to look for cantelops at other stores or buy them roadside or at farmer's markets for a buck or less each. So let us now watch the DUmmies use their utter incompetence at bargain shopping as a segue to condemn our EVIL capitalist system in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who recently bought a whole bunch of HUGE papayas for just a buck each, is in the [brackets]:

Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the "haves" pretty soon!

[A piece of cantelope sold for $3.89. Imagine how much a whole cantelope must sell for.]

A crappy bagel costs $.69 and a crappier muffin is $1.49 at the supermarket. A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19...for broth and a few pieces of pasta. Brown rice is $1.79 lb and bread and milk are near $4.00. Why are we not taking to the streets with this? I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.

[Bagels? I can get a half dozen for a buck. Soup? I can get cans at 2 for a buck. Milk? I WAIT for a certain farmer's market to sell it at a buck for a half gallon and then stock up on it. But since you are TOO STUPID to bargain shop, suddenly you want to take to the streets to overthrow this EVIL Bush regime.]

Looked at Watermelons, yesterday...........small ones - $6.99 and less small ones (can't call them big, really - $7.99. Last year you could get them for $4.99 and they were huge......insane....

[I guess you're too LAZY to stop where roadside vendors are selling watermelons really cheap. Oh, and have you ever checked out the produce section of flea markets? Only true DUmmies will pay $6.99 for a small watermelon. I'll feel good munching on a nice cold small one dollar watermelon later today knowing you allowed yourself to get ripped off.]

The junk food aisle prices are cheap. Hell, a 16 oz bag of imitation chocolate candy $.89. Twinkies are still cheap enough. Why not buy em by the case?

[Good news! Frozen pizza is still cheap. I bought 4 for 5 dollars a week ago.]

well we know where they are coming from when they keep junk food prices down, they are treating us with such vile and disrespect.

[You have absolutely no nutritional choice since the EVIL Bush regime is forcing you to eat junk food.]

....junk food today is like yesterday's cigarettes....make it cheap, encourage their use and watch the peasants drop like flies (after we work the shit out of 'em for a few decades, of course)....capitalism gives me such a warm feeling inside....

[Capitalism is KILLING you with twinkies and chocolate donuts.]

A single ear of corn $1.00. It's crazy.

[Even crazier is that you paid that price.]

They were $2 for six last week at Publix. People need to learn to shop smart. Stock up on items which are on sale and use coupons.

[SHHHHH!!! Don't let the DUmmies know anything about the concept known as bargain shopping. Please continue to allow them to keep on getting ripped off due to their own stupidity.]

I can't believe these produce prices. I shell out for it, but then, I CAN. I count my blessings and am angry on behalf of those whom it really pinches.

[Enjoy those $3.89 cantelopes and $6.99 small watermelons, DUmmie!]

Thank you for your anger. We feel very alone and isolated.

[And helpless.]

Truth be told, I'm one of these idiotf*cks who thinks Trader Joe's is economical, so clearly I haven't "gotten it" in many years.

[Sigh! If only Florida had Trader Joe's so I could indulge in Two Buck Chuck wine.]

I got hostile in the toilet paper section.......... ...12 roll pack of my usual brand - $8.76. Screw that - it goes down the crapper, ferchrissakes, I'll be damned if I pay that. Family will have to get used to flimsy I guess. Meat aisle should have a loan counter right next to it so I can take out a mortgage to get some damn chops..... Milk - hell, a few bucks more and I could get a dang cow..... eggs - do we have a shortage of laying hens? I hate to go to the grocery store anymore - it seems these days we'll have the same menu rotation week after week - but I guess we're lucky to still be able to eat something.

[Maybe your family will have to get used to using their left hands. BTW, I have a food deal where I get meat, beer, olive oil, and paper products really cheap. (My wife doesn't want me to talk about it in detail.) Right now we have enough toilet paper and paper kitchen towels to last us until around Labor Day.]

We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup...whatever. Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening. Better off using a pressure cleaner.

[Ben Burch will provide you with his personal Rotor Rooter.]

Ha! Eat pine cones AND use them as toilet paper!

[First use the pine cones as toilet paper and THEN eat them.]

a friend of mine was visiting canada and she said a head of lettuce is $5 there....is that true? who the hell would pay $5 for a head of lettuce?

[Clueless Canadian DUmmies.]

I haven't had canteloupe for years based on the price. Only when they sell them at 2 for $3.00. And this is MacIntosh apple country. Cripes, they are $3.49 lb.

[Obviously a DUmmie who NEVER stops for roadside fruit vendors nor goes to farmer's markets.]

Leeks (bunch of three) -- $5.99 at my local Krogers last week.

[EEK! Be sure not to check the farmer's markets so you can continue to bemoan your deserved fate.]

are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?

[They are saying that helpless DUmmie stupidity is beyond belief and are laughing at you.]

Adzuki beans are the lowest in fat but high in protein. They're great cooked with buttcup squash.

[Ben Burch loves buttcup squash.]

wolfgang puck soup is almost always on sale for $1-$1.25/can, and it definitely is MUCH better than "some broth and a few pieces of pasta".

[Dented Wolfgang Puck soup cans sell for even less at the flea market.]

When will people finally take to the streets? When cantalopes cost $5? $10? What would it take? Seriously...people should be out in the streets NOW.

[Would you take to the streets if I price mark cantelopes up to $20 each? I would love to watch the comedic entertainment.]

2.67 for store brand soup. Use to be $4 for 2 a few weeks ago. Juice is insane. God damn f*cking eggs. Shopping has become depressing. God damn Bush Inc and the enablers.

[Yes, the EVIL Bush regime is preventing you from bargain shopping.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix
Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the "haves" pretty soon!

"No cantaloupe, no piece!"

121 posted on 05/13/2008 11:30:24 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Piece march.)
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To: PJ-Comix
A crappy bagel costs $.69 and a crappier muffin is $1.49. . . .

Then I'd go with the crappy bagel.

122 posted on 05/13/2008 11:32:06 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Bagels can't be choosers.)
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To: PJ-Comix
A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19. . . .

YES WE CAN!

123 posted on 05/13/2008 11:34:07 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Souper delegate.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Brown rice is $1.79 lb. . . .

Ricism! Typical white rice is undoubtedly cheaper.

124 posted on 05/13/2008 11:36:23 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Playing the rice card.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Why are we not taking to the streets with this?

TO THE STREETS! MAN THE BARRICADES! WOMAN THE BARRICADES!

125 posted on 05/13/2008 11:40:10 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The DUmmies are revolting!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.

They may pay in hell, but they'll get an employee discount.

126 posted on 05/13/2008 11:42:10 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Satan's minions.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Looked at Watermelons, yesterday...........small ones - $6.99 and less small ones (can't call them big, really - $7.99.

Why so meloncholy?

127 posted on 05/13/2008 11:46:27 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Soon to be a million a melon.)
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To: PJ-Comix

I wanted to return from the grocery before adding my little bit. Cantaloupes were $3.99/ea. and milk $3.79/gal (Dean’s) although the store brand was $3.59. Of course, cantaloupes aren’t in season (here in Illinois) so have to be trucked in (as with many vegetables at this time.

Corn? Who buys ears in the store? We buy ears by the dozen in season (July - September). Other than that it’s bags of frozen. The same is true of other vegetables.

And what we bought today at our local grocery was just to hold us over until Friday when the wife can shop at our Super Wal-Mart in DeKalb. Doing so saves us some good money, especially since she works there and can shop after work. No special trips.

We have an Aldi’s in town, but don’t shop there. And we have a very good butcher about 5 miles away where we get meat for holidays, special occasions, etc. Or if we just want a premium steak or ribs on the grill. But most meat comes from the grocery.

The DU’ers are simply feeling sorry for themselves instead of doing something about it. And that’s not surprising because they ARE a sorry lot. There’s all kinds of ways to save on groceries; many having been mentioned here. But, as also mentioned, it takes a little effort; something I doubt these DUmmies have ever ventured. It’s easier to cry and moan than it is to be frugal.


128 posted on 05/13/2008 11:46:26 AM PDT by bcsco (To heck with a third party. We need a second one....)
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To: PJ-Comix
I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.

Is anyone else struck by how often lefties condemn President Bush to hell?

Out of curiosity -- because I didn't remember conservatives doing the same to Clinton nearly as often -- I googled "Bush burns in hell" and "Clinton burns in hell".

Well guess what? It's 200 hits for Bush in hell and 10 hits for Clinton. And the libs don't hold back. They don't just wish Bush were in hell. They want him in hell with flesh melting off his bones, etc.

129 posted on 05/13/2008 11:46:38 AM PDT by Yardstick
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To: maggief

So that is arugula. I have eaten it, but I only buy it in a mix. Otherwise it is too bitter for me. (and I almost never shop at Whole Foods)

130 posted on 05/13/2008 11:46:49 AM PDT by NathanR (Obama: More 'African' than 'American'.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Last year you could get them for $4.99 and they were huge......insane....

Aren't you being a little melondramatic?

131 posted on 05/13/2008 11:48:42 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Join the Melon Man March!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Twinkies are still cheap enough. Why not buy em by the case?

D*MN Bushco! Trying to flood the market with cheap Twinkies!

132 posted on 05/13/2008 11:56:43 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Hostess with the Mostest.)
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To: PJ-Comix
A single ear of corn $1.00.

Have a Twinkie instead.

133 posted on 05/13/2008 11:59:19 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Or a crappy bagel.)
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To: PJ-Comix
People need to learn to shop smart.

That's hard for DUmmies.

134 posted on 05/13/2008 12:01:21 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Why do you think we call them DUmmies?)
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To: PJ-Comix
I can't believe these produce prices.

Here's a novel concept: It's called "gardening."

135 posted on 05/13/2008 12:02:36 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Grow your own.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I shell out for it, but then, I CAN.

Canning will save you money in the long run.

136 posted on 05/13/2008 12:04:07 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Yes we can!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Thank you for your anger.

Anger is still cheap and plentiful in DUmmieland.

137 posted on 05/13/2008 12:05:48 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Drilling in ANGR.)
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To: netmilsmom

It’s nice outside of Cleveland. I’m actually in Medina county.


138 posted on 05/13/2008 12:07:35 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Out of chaos comes comedy.)
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To: HoosierHawk
President Bush provides us with free food.

Dang, did I miss *another* GOP freebie? I'm still waiting on my 2000 (or was it 2004?) BMW. Sure, Rove told me that some of the options I selected would delay delivery, but this is ridiculous!

139 posted on 05/13/2008 12:10:31 PM PDT by Charles Martel (The Tree of Liberty thirsts.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Ya know i can accept that dummies are too stupid to understand that cantaloupe is out of season and probably coming fron brazil, but ;

A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19

Are you kidding me? This is either bs or the stupidest person on the planet. I picked up campbells chicken noodle just a few weeks ago at 2 for a dollar.

140 posted on 05/13/2008 12:10:59 PM PDT by bad company (How much easier is self-sacrifice than self-realization)
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